Happy Birthday Jakarta - 484 yo

Today is Jakarta's birthday.

Jakarta is a capital of Republic Indonesia, where I was born and where I am living now. Almost 10 million people are living in Jakarta, which has wide range 661.5 km2. Jakarta is number 6 biggest metropolitan city in this world, with average temperature yearly 27C - 38C (77F - 100 F). Yup it is sooo warm, we do not have any winter here :D

You can find the richer and the poorer in Jakarta, you can find luxurious and remote place, you can find best man and bad guy. You can almost all in Jakarta :) Like white and black at the piano, you can find it in one place together name Jakarta. LOL Jakarta is like never sleeping town, you can find almost everything 24 hours in here. Especially for food and hang out place.

Many Indonesia people are still thinking that Jakarta is the place of hope. So they are moving from their town and trying hard to find a better life in here. A few of them are success but not rarely are failed, and this failed people never want back to their town, and still trying they best to do everything. I mean, they are really take all job that they can have with small salaries (e.g. as a street sweeper, toilet cleaning, newspaper seller, beggar), or they are trying to do the forbidden job such as hooker, drug seller etc. They even force their small children to work to support their family (usually as a beggar or newspaper seller, street singers). So wise Indonesia man always such that Jakarta is the heaven and the hell city.

The famous one from Jakarta is traffic jam. You have to have a big patience with this kind of traffic jam. I can give you example, I take almost 2 - 2 1/2 hours from my home to my office or 4 - 5 hours return with the traffic jam. But if in the holiday (e.g. Saturday, Sunday or public holiday), I just need 1 - 11/2 hours. Can you imagine?

Actually I do not like Jakarta so much, because it is too crowded, and awful traffic jam. But I am working in here now, and my work place is nice. And whole my family is living in her. I mean, I do not want to change it now :D

I was moving to Jakarta, (I mean really move my work, move my place of living) is March 2009. Even though all my family living in Jakarta since ages, but I got to use to live far away from my family before. So I was back to Jakarta may be every 2 or 4 months, or whenever I had to transit to Jakarta from other Island.

If you asked me whether I enjoy or not to live in here, I just can tell you, I am trying to enjoy my life no matter where I am. I do not want my grieve become my barrier to feel happy.

So one day if you come to Indonesia, please come to Jakarta and see the night life (hang out place, yummy food). I bet, you will feel happy and forget about the worse traffic light in the morning or afternoon :D

Fortune teller

One of my hobby is to read or to listen fortune teller. Fortune teller which I mean here are from horoscope, zodiac, tarot reader, hand reader, face reader, etc. So they are trying to predict my future, or my habits.

Does it mean that my life depend on them? Of course not. I still believe my God, cause no one has power more than My God. But it is kind of prayer support for me especially if I am down. I never want to remember if they said bad about my future, I just take the good one and be happy for that.

Sometimes what they said, were happen to me. May be like wise people said : "if you believe something, it will happen to you. So because I believe it, so it happen to me :D

I know, many of my friends laugh on me and two or three event complain, because of my habit, because I always put on my wall on my facebook or twitter about the good (of course only the good one) of my fortune teller result :D But I think, I can't help myself for this habit. It makes me happy. (Does it make you happy if something good will happen and deliver to your day, doesn't it? )

Sometimes when I feel so down, I like to read all the good things which will happen to me, usually it works to motivate my self and repair my mood.

My favorite are of course about love and job. A few of them of course did not happen yet and I hope it will happen as soon as possible as about my time to end my single status ( get lovely and responsibility husband and child) hahahahhahaaha.

Hard to understand? You know .... that I am a woman, do not use logical thinking much .LOL

Longing

Since last few months, I am longing my past so much. It looks like every time what I see just my past. From wake up until I sleep. All just my past. Actually I am always longing my past but not too big like this time. Usually I could shift my longing with works so hard, going to the office early in the morning, spent all my times just with my works until late night. But now? I even can't concentration with my works. Uhmmm

More I am trying to ignore, more it looks clear on my mind. It is kind of terror psycho maybe, like in the thriller movie hahhhhahhaa. I am trying to suggest myself that is just my feeling and I can get rid away from it if I want. But unfortunately instead of get rid of it, the longing become bigger.

Sometimes I really want to do something crazy like going to find my past to sacrifice my longing. But still, I am a coward (uhm .... shame on me, right? ) . I have no courage to do that. Really have no C O U R A G E

Even to share what I feel now with my friends, I have no courage. I feel afraid they will laugh at me because of this kind of longing. This is why really nice if you have a blog, you can write what you feel without feel afraid people see you down or laughing at you.

When I am too tired, this kind of longing become a big burden to me. And the bad things from all of this, I become so weak. I was almost sick every week. Last 2 weeks was the peak of the sickness, when the drug for my nausea problem did not work at all ( I have to eat this medicine before eat because if not I could not eat because I always throw up all) . So I couldn't eat and felt so weak for a few days until I had to go to the doctor, because I could not stand anymore with my sickness (hi .. I hate doctor actually but this time I gave up hahahhahhaa). And he had to give me an infusion because without this my sickness became worse and I must to stay longer at the hospital:( My body needed food for staying and the last choice to give food for my body without I through away all the food again, was through the infusion.

He said all the "belly" problems usually because of stress. I have to relax a bit. Hahahahahahahaha Simple advice but hard to do.

Now of course I am healthier, even though I still can't get rid of my longing feeling. I am just trying to enjoy this feeling. At least even though I am still longing, but I am healthy :D I wish I am able again to shift up my longing to be energy for working, so I can work until late again than back home with my tiredness and sleep well without have a time to think about anything. LOL . Wish me luck, ok?

My question just, is my past ever missing me too? Uhm

What do you think?

Pictures of me

Do you know, until now, it is hard to find some one who can take a beautiful picture of me.

Usually, the picture of me which they took, always made me looks ugly. And as a woman of course I hate if I look ugly. hahahahhahhaha

But it is different, if I took the picture of myself by myself. I want to give you one example:

You see the picture of me beside. I took it last Sunday (2 days before), and the first time I put as my bb picture profile, many of my friends said that I look younger and awesome. Hopefully they were not lying when said it. At least if they were lying, I still love this picture too. I think I do not look ugly or fat hahahahahaha

And that picture was taken by myself!!! Just because I want to have a new picture of me.

I remember that, one of my friend is professional photographer. And until the last time he met me, he was not success to take a nice picture of me. All my pictures which were taken by him usually made me look fat, dull, ugly, etc, even though he was trying hard, but still, he was not success. LOL

He said to me, usually he can make any ugly woman looks more awesome through his photo, but why it did not work with me. LOL He is so curious until now about that, so every time we are talking, he always want to take a picture of me. And don't worry, I already told him to give up. Hahaahhhahaa

The bad thing if our family go to the studio photo for family picture, because usually all my family members looks so stunning but not me. Hahahahhhahhahaha Or if I am with all my friends and really want to have my beautiful picture at their moment :D

Of course not all my picture which were taken by someone make me looks ugly, a few of them were success to make me looks beautiful too (even may be just 4 or 5 pictures :))

The funny thing, I am not good if I have to take a picture of others people. I am trying hard to do this, their to practice it (remind me that it is almost more than 1/2 years, I do not bring my camera and practice my skill to take a picture - but hi .... my camera still old camera, but at least I could make many beautiful pictures. Hopefully, as soon as possible I will have my own SLR or any camera which always brought by professional photographer (amen) BTW :You should see my pictures folder, I bet, you will like a few of them :D Psstt .... you know, I have a few fans of my pictures :P

Now I just wish, if one day I get marry, some one who take my wedding pictures, has an ability to take beautiful pictures of me :D Because it is not funny if I should take my own pictures at my wedding day, right? Or it is not really funny if all my pictures at my wedding day were ugly. LOL