tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14885226241350932142024-03-13T18:38:20.882+07:00Thirty SomethingWoman at Thirty SomethingThirty Somethinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14929562721442931031noreply@blogger.comBlogger104125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1488522624135093214.post-73763570814686628412012-10-03T12:19:00.001+07:002012-10-03T12:19:49.721+07:00My Unborn ChildThis is the part of my life which I did not want to write before. If you asked me why I write down it now, it is because I think I should being fair to him (I always think that my unborn child is boy), I hide him at the darkness of my life before and threat him as something that never happen in my life. The truth he is the shadow in my life, follow my heart wherever I go until now, but of course in different condition because, before I felt guilty and blame myself for what ever happen to him, and jealous to see every pregnant women whom I met. But last few years, I am trying accept it, and do not ,blame myself again. I am happy to see all pregnant woman and trying to send my best prayer to them, so they will give a birth to a strong and healthy child who love them so much. So they will never feel like what I feel now. Miss part of your soul, part of your blood.<br />
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Of course there still a time when I feel so sad and can't control my self when people say to me that I can't have a baby because of my age or like my mom said : if one day I am marry its better for me to adopt child because of my age. It hurts my heart so much. Make me cry a river sometimes hahahahahahaha<br />
Yes there is still one ego at my heart that tell my self that I must have my own child, give a birth my own child if one day <br />
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Back to the story about my unborn child, until now, I always want to know what he will look like. Will he look like me or his father or mixing? Will he know that I am his mother? Will he hug me if he meets me one day? Will he want to call me mom? If he born, how big he were now?<br />
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If I see a child in his age, I always ask myself : 'does he like that child?' Is he the clever one in his class? Would he be a naughty young boy? Does he know that I love him so much? Does he know that I miss him so much? Does he know that if I could return time, one thing that I would do :were to keep him safely and beg his father to do the same.<br />
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And for what ever happen he should know that his father loves him more, even he never show it. Or even he always angry with me whenever he knows that I think about his unborn child, but I know that he feels same like mine. And I do not want him to blame his father for what ever happen. I do not want him to hate his father.<br />
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He should know that I and his father loved each other at that time, so he is not kind of 'lust product'. Just the condition forced us to choose our way. The way that I always regret until now. And I know it is too late to regret it.<br />
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<br />Thirty Somethinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14929562721442931031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1488522624135093214.post-37226739870884908642012-08-20T21:31:00.001+07:002012-08-20T21:31:21.896+07:00preparation towards my friend's wedding End of this month, my girl friend will get marry for the second time. That is not a surprise me because I know it almost 6 months ago when she was busy with her divorce papers.<br />
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Of course as a friend, I am happy for her even though from the bottom of my heart, there is still big wish that one day my time will come too.<br />
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And of course like others women in this world, this wedding party take my big attention - the dress code is purple, the wedding theme is garden party. So almost three weeks I was busy to find dress, shoes and the match finery. Yup almost three weeks. LOL<br />
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First the dress should be purple and look sexy but not bitchy :D<br />
Second : the dress should be able to make me look slim :D<br />
Third: has to make sure that no one will use the same dress :D<br />
Fourth: the dress should look like high class dress but the price not too expensive. Low price but high quality. LOL<br />
Fifth: the finery should be something bling - bling but simple<br />
Sixth: the shoes should make me look like a bit tall<br />
Seventh: the shoes should make my legs look longer but sexy. LOL<br />
Eight: the shoes of course should match with the dress<br />
Ninth : the shoes should make me easy to walk and dance.<br />
Tenth: dress - finery and should should make look glooming, beautiful and sexy.<br />
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So for last three weeks, my free time I spent to find this three items. Until last week, I found what I really want. I hope I be able to take my picture and put here, so you will see, how beautiful I am . LOL<br />
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And now after that - I have another big problem :<br />
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that is to make me to be in the same size until the 'day'<br />
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That means - I have to take care about what I eat and I have to make sure to not let my self be lazy to go to the gym. LOL<br />
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So you see - for us woman - wedding party is not simple as a party - but to prepare to be there - we as a woman need a lot of time to prepare ourself.<br />
Because our outlook is so important for us even though you always hear we often said the wise words - 'beautiful inside is more important than beautiful outside'.<br />
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Especially for single woman in my age. We feel scare to come to wedding party - scare to our feeling (cause there is the question why and what is wrong with us - so no one asked us to marry) and scare with the question about whether we will be the next.<br />
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<br />Thirty Somethinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14929562721442931031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1488522624135093214.post-25228568733179714832012-05-31T14:34:00.001+07:002012-05-31T14:34:37.710+07:00Lets go to the gymSince last 3 weeks, I have one new hobby after back from the office name : 'gym'. The idea actually came from some one who close to me, who said that he wanted to begin to do gym (even though I do not know whether he is going to gym now or not :D)<br />
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And thanks for my lovely God, because when I decide to do the gym, suddenly I saw, near my home there is new open gym from 7 am to 9 pm. Can you imagine .. until 9 pm, something that I tried to find, because usually I get home at 7 pm. So that is really perfect place for me, near my home and they open until 9 pm.<br />
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Of course I still not be able to go there every day because sometimes I had a meeting until 8 pm (from office to my home need around 1 1/2 hours), or like last few days I got worse flue. But I am trying hard to go there every time I can. That is the reason I rent locker there which can put my shoes.<br />
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Like others woman, of course gym, like one way to have a good figure, but actually even though my body still not yet like JLO or Beyonce, I feel fresh every morning when I wake up. Even though actually my sleeping times is less than usual.<br />
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I did not joint the fitness, just use the tools there like bicycle or treadmill around 1 1/2 hours and continued with sauna for 15 minutes, and then back home, take a shower and sleeping .<br />
And trust me ... it is soooooooooo nice.<br />
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Uhm ... may be it will be hard if you have a family, right? Ok, you can just do it for 1 hours treadmill and then back home. And if you are house wife, hi .... you have many times to do and at my place there is belly dance too!!!!! I want to joint but uhm.... the time is not perfect for me because the schedule is still in my office hours :( May be one day, they will have belly dance at Saturday or Sunday. Wish wish wish<br />
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And no ... I do not want like some body who really crazy about sport until force you to do diet after that, not like that. I am still normal. LOL Just give you one idea to go to gym, to make you feel fresh and plus another benefit - you will get your perfect figure like you dream about.<br />
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Have a great day and lets go to the gym :D<br />
<br />Thirty Somethinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14929562721442931031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1488522624135093214.post-48378117041938498662012-05-08T09:00:00.001+07:002012-05-08T09:00:15.594+07:00Anger ManagementOne thing about me that people who ever know me is about my short temper :D Yes, I love to make a joke and many people said that I am the funny one but yup, I have a short temper too. Actually, my short temper is reducing. Especially because I ever had my biggest nightmare because of my short temper, the result of that short temper almost killed me inside at that time, I almost loose my precious one. And this is one of my biggest lesson learn of my life. <br />
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Ussually one thing that I am trying to do, if my short temper come to me, I will try to go to another place, sit down alone there and trying to talk with myself. The kind of therapy often help me, as long as no one bother me at the time I am talking with myself. Because if someone trying to make everything better with me at the time, seriously, I can't handle my short temper, it will become worse.<br />
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I have one friend like this. She is trying to calm me, but seriously, what she did not help me at all. And the worse thing, she seems not want to understand that I need to be alone when I am angry. May be I have to try hard to make her understand about it again and again :D<br />
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The funny about it, because actually I am kind of talkative woman if I am in a good mood and in my comfortable zone, and I am kine of person who loves to make joke and make people laughing because of my joke, so if one day people see me just quite, they think that I am angry. LOL But I am not. <br />
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I am just want to be quite, and don't know why lately, I am really enjoy just sit down and hear people discussion in front of me without joint with their conversation. <br />
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Yup, I am still trying hard to manage my anger. I am still far away for the best people you ever know (even though some one who very close with me ever said that he saw that I am change and become better to control my anger), but still I need learn. <br />
<br />So, if one day, you see me sit down alone, quite and write something and don't want to talk, ussually because I am trying my best to handle my anger. And please do not bother me at that time :D But if one day you see me just quite, and sit down comfortable, it means that I am just quite, not angry at all. And of course at that time, you can talk many things with me. I will hear you. I will be a good listener. <br />
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Have a great day. <br />Thirty Somethinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14929562721442931031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1488522624135093214.post-60605360228542088192012-04-25T08:25:00.001+07:002012-04-25T08:31:11.165+07:00The one I loveMany of my friends asked me whether I have some one special or not.The funny things, they did not believe whatever my answer to them :) May be because if I said 'no', it looks impossible, cause how can some one like me, do not have boy friend at all. And if I said 'yes', they always saw me, went alone. <br />
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Actually, I have some one that I love and (he said) loves me too. What kind of our relationship, how often we meet, etc, uhm ... let it just my and his secreet. Same like the question, where I and he will bring this relationship. I just know, that until now, I have him. I do not know the future, I am not a fortune teller :D I am trying my best for this relationship and if something going wrong, I will not regret too.</div>
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If then, you ask me if I want to marry him. I will tell you, clearly, YES. But if you ask me if he wants to marry me, uhm... I don't know. We never talk seriously about it. Or may be one day I will ask him and wish his anwer yes too. And if you ask me why I trust him, I think because he trust me too. Because I love him, I should have more positive thinking about him, right? One or two times, may be I feel jealous, but I am trying hard to stop my bad thingking. Que sera - sera, what ever will be, just will be. I have my God always by me. </div>
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Through him, I learn to be a strong, to be a brave, to trust people. He was there when I was in my lowest point and he is there too when I reached my dreams. He always believe me that I can do when people did not think that I be able to do that. He trusted me when people thought that they could not trust me. With him around me, I can feel that I am the most beautiful woman in this world.<br />
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Uhm ... so please wish me luck :D</div>
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<br /></div>Thirty Somethinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14929562721442931031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1488522624135093214.post-22650186152555480182012-04-24T07:51:00.003+07:002012-04-24T08:13:21.603+07:00Stop thingking, start loving<div align="justify"><br />A few days ago, I read the good time line at twitter <strong>'stop thinking, start loving'</strong>. I bet partof us, always think a lot before we brave enough to say and to show love. And the funny think that we are braver to say and show hate. Yup, it's happen to me too :D<br /><br /> I never think first if I get angry to someone, I will say directly to them about my anger and I am brave enough to take a risk if someone get angry to me when I show or say them when I hate or angry to them. But different with saying something name "love", I feel scare that I have to take a risk, rejected by someone because of love that I show or say to them. So before I show or say, in my mind always show me a nightmare about how someone loose his/her dignity because of rejected some one.<br /><br />And now because of the tag line which I read before, I should do the reverse. More brave to show or to say my love. If they are rejected or try to hide me or do not want to be my friend anymore because of that, that is their problem. As long as I did not do something worse to them, or as long as I did not force me to love me the same way I love them, and as long as I just want to give love not ask for the return, I think I can't be the bad person because I give love to some one, right? :D<br /><br />And I should re think again and again before I talk about anger, hate or any bad things to some one, especially if they close enough to me. Because actually, it will hurt them and if I were them, might be I would be hurt too. I do not want to have many enemies in my life.<br /><br />And if some one that I do not love say that they love me. I will do same like I alwaysdo before, I will not reject them, will not hate them, but tell them the truth that that is my honor to get love from them, but I love them in a different ways. Of course I still want to be their friend, as long as they want to. But if they thought that they could not accept it, it is ok for me. As long as their happy. Just tell them, please don't hate me, because of different love that I have to them.<br /><br />And I think if we have much loves in this world. We want to do like a child, justshow love without much thinking, may be there will be no war in this world anymore. Like anothers wise words said : stop war, make love :-)<br /><br />With a lot of loves.<br /></div>Thirty Somethinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14929562721442931031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1488522624135093214.post-5114177369156485652012-03-29T22:53:00.005+07:002012-03-29T23:06:40.656+07:00Tiger's in me.<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JE5xkbAhIeU/T3SF9pkIXUI/AAAAAAAAAF8/8eC5-00wzdc/s1600/kharina2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; width: 200px; height: 134px; float: left; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5725348320470654274" border="0" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JE5xkbAhIeU/T3SF9pkIXUI/AAAAAAAAAF8/8eC5-00wzdc/s200/kharina2.jpg" /></a>In China zodiac, I am a person who born at Tiger years.<br /><br />So, that is what they say about me as Tiger, LOL :<br /><br />Occupying the 3rd position on the Chinese Zodiac, the Tiger symbolizes such character traits as bravery, competitiveness and unpredictability. Tigers love to be challenged and will accept any challenge if it means protecting a loved one or protecting their honor.<br /><br />They don’t worry about the outcome because they know they’ll always land on their feet. Don’t let their calm appearance fool you though; Tigers will pounce when they feel it’s necessary. Born to lead, Tigers can be stubborn if they realize they’re not in charge. They have a slight tendency to be selfish but overall, Tigers are extremely generous. They’re very intelligent and they’re always on alert. Tigers are very charming and are well-liked by others. They are not motivated by money or power.<br /><br />As they do their enemies, Tigers have a tendency to pounce on their work. Afterwards, they’re left feeling exhausted. Although they’ll soon bounce right back, over time this approach can cause problems with their health. Tigers need to develop a more balanced approach to life so they can utilize their energy more efficiently.<br /><br />Tigers have a continual need to be challenged which may explain why they jump from job to job. This isn’t necessarily a problem because they’re smart and able to quickly master new subjects. The best jobs for Tigers are those that will lead them towards positions of leadership. Some suitable careers for Tigers include: advertising agent, office manager, travel agent, actor, writer, artist, pilot, flight attendant, musician, comedian and chauffeur.<br /><br />Creative in their passion, Tigers will never bore their partners. They’re expressive, polite and trustworthy, but watch out. Tigers tend to dominate their relationships. This tendency is instinctive and when monitored closely, such behavior can be kept under control. Partners need to be equally active to keep up with the Tiger’s sense of adventure.<br /><br />So ... how do you think about me as Tiger? :DThirty Somethinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14929562721442931031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1488522624135093214.post-12530578325264102972012-03-27T23:48:00.002+07:002012-03-28T00:16:03.430+07:00See with your heart - not only with your eyesLast few weeks, I realize that I used my eyes more than my heart to see people problem or to see people reaction.<br /><br />And that was cause many problems with me. I looked like a mad old woman, who loose her control because of less love. LOL<br /><br />Especially because of my job at my office, where I have to handle all staff at the office. May be all of them, thought that I could not sacrifice with all they did, some one who just know something name "COMPLAIN", some one who thought that only she can do everything perfect. No one can do like her.<br /><br />Yup, actually if I am in the middle of my stress because of the dateline, it is easier for me to get angry. And ussually one trick that I always do to handle my angriness, is sitting down, take a deep breath and trying to change my point of view.<br /><br />And than use my heart and trying to put my self at their position. I am using this method again and again and seems work. And the best things from that, I can through away my angriness, do not ill feel and the best of that, I did not hurt someone by accident because of my words.<br /><br />Because if we use our heart to see everything, from people point of view. It will not need many of your passion, and it will easy for you to forgive everybody. Sometimes, people do something for someone because of their good will - want to help people. But when they did it, unfortunately the result is not as same as what they think or sometimes it make the problem became worse. But trust me, many of them, often did not mean it. So, I thought it is not fair if we get angry with them just because of that. Just forgive them, tell them in the good way, why it is better if they did not do it, so they will understand and will not just ill feel to you because they did not understand what is the trouble they make it because of their action. <br /><br />My weakness now, is if I am too tired, have too much work, hard for me to sit down, take a deep beath and try to use my heart to see deeper. May be now I should handle my self to more care about them and be passion with them no matter how tired I am.<br /><br />But I believe, I can do it next week , so there will be only smile face around me :DThirty Somethinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14929562721442931031noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1488522624135093214.post-21254221855007508352012-02-11T09:16:00.012+07:002012-02-11T13:14:48.900+07:00Women and technology90 % staff at my office are women, It is the reason why our network always said that we are fabby's angel ( PS: my boss name is Fabby) LOL. But if you think that all cubicle at my office are tidy because of the women staff ...... I tell you now, you are wrong, because you just find all messy place there hahahhahhaa<br /><br />As you know, most of women have a difficult relationship with something name technology, that is happen too with the women staff at my office, all of them just can use computer without have a knowledge how to maintain it, They even need some one to help them to connect their laptop to their computer. LOL<br /><br />If you ask why. I just can say that I do not know, may be because technology need too much logical thinking. And most women did not like to use the logical way to solve any problem, cause we use our feeling to do it. LOL<br /><br />Beside that manual book of the the technology always look like a boring book, which can make most of us - women, feel lazy to read it :D Is it hard to make the manual book looks like a nice and simple book? Or why the manual book do not use eye catching colour and detail explanation. Why the creator of the manual book (I bet must be man. LOL - yes I am bias gender now :D), think that we - women know what they mean, by just say the important thing and forget the detail. Is it hard to make the manual book full of colour with full of pictures (which help us to understand which button we should press, or if the stand by mode mean that our laptop can use again in a second if we press any key or which us to understand that sometimes our printer could not print something not because of it broken but because of we did not tide the cable good enough)<br /><br />So gentleman, please understand, that is not because we - women are not smart enough to understand the technology, but because of the manual of technology is not too fancy enough for us to read it :D<br /><br />If the manual book is a bit same fancy and funny like make up book, may be women will have better relationship with it. And we will repair our own gadget without men's help. LOL<br />Because if the manual book is still same like now ........ don't hope our relationship with the technology become better :D<br /><br />Have a great weekend allThirty Somethinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14929562721442931031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1488522624135093214.post-77691974461465680642012-01-25T17:10:00.004+07:002012-01-25T17:51:58.845+07:00Is it the "size" matter for us (red: woman)?As an Indonesian woman who ever had a long relantionship with western man, the question which is always asked to me from many Indonesia male and female (yes I repeated male and female) is western guy really has a 'big' size. BTW: as an adult people, you know what I mean about 'big' size in here, right :D<br /><br />When I answered their question with smile, ussually the follow statement from them was my smile must mean that the answer from the question is "yes" and that is the reason why I do not want to have any Indonesian boy friend. LOL<br /><br />And the crazy one, that is my female friend who really curios about the western size until decide that she has to sleep with one western guy and she believe it will be like a heaven. Hahahahahahaaa.<br /><br />For me, actually I did not ever thinking about big or small, come on .... you know exactly that is not about size if you do that base on love, right? Whose care about size?<br /><br />Ussually after they asked me that size question, I always ask my female friends how big they think it will make them happy. Hahahahahahahaha And yes .... they can't answer my question. Because the fact even with the small size, a lot of them still can feel satisfied. So? Why they always asked me about the size? I did not think and did not want to compare anybody because I did not want somebody compare me with anybody else too. Especially I never brought a ruler with me if I were with any guys (western or eastern or everywhere). Hahahahahhaaha <br /><br />So the question about "size", I think the stupid question that I am lazy to hear. Don't always think that every best sex must be because the man has a big size. Hi ... please don't compare it with something which you saw at the porn movie. Where you will see the big boobs woman and the big size man, and can do every crazy things. LOL<br /><br />Try to think first about love, so it is easy for you to do (like I ever wrote before why they call it "making love" and not "making sex") because it is not how good your body are (cause no body is perfect) but it is about how to share something special with someone that you love (who you accept with all their weakness and whom you do not want to leave without). <br /><br />So please .... dont think (and don't ask me again. LOL) about the size. I am not a doctor and I never measure the size of all men that I ever meet :D Trust me from my research from many of women, a lot of them admit that actually "size" is not a matter for them, as long as they feel your love and your care to them.<br /><br />Have a great day all.<br />xoxoxoThirty Somethinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14929562721442931031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1488522624135093214.post-46294703813562355352012-01-06T17:57:00.002+07:002012-01-06T18:17:02.991+07:00New Year and My Resolution2012 just begin for a few days, and so far, I still do not have any idea about what is my resolution for this year. Of course I still have my own dream and still believe all my dreams will come true in the right time (redd: the right time from God of view for me )<br /><br />Yes, I know, I will not become younger but I know I will not let myself become older too. May be just my age more than before but not myself :D I do not feel old and I think I still in my great times :D<br /><br />Last year I made many mistakes and I wish that I will not repeat the same mistake and the important thing that I have to be more happy from last year.<br /><br />About my someone special? If God think he is the good one for me and if He think that this year is the good year for me, no one can stop Him to make us become together, right? I already ask my lovely God and I believe that He will give to me if He thinks it is the right man and the right time. <br /><br />Same like job, home etc. I believe that He already has that for me, I just have to prove Him that I am worthy for it :D So I will work hard and give my best for everything I do. I will never give up.<br /><br />Life is beautiful and if not too beautiful, I still have my God beside me. And with Him I know, nothing is impossible.<br /><br />Happy New Year everyone, wish all your best dreams will come true and you will get only the best in this world cause you deserve to have it. And dont forget to give more loves to others around you.Thirty Somethinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14929562721442931031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1488522624135093214.post-42289787805110491692011-12-06T14:52:00.001+07:002011-12-06T14:52:35.650+07:00My biggest familyOne of the best parts of me of course my family. I mean my mom, my siblings, my in laws and of course my lovely nephews. They colour my life with their own way. Of course, one or two times, we have a conflict between us, but it will not reduce our love to each others. Until now (and I hope until end of my life) may be if I got angry with my sister or my mom, I just could not be able to talk with them only 1 hour and not more, with my brothers may be just 2 days and not more.<br />I even know almost all my sister problems, all her love story, her good time and bad time. She is my best friend, my mother and my child but never be my rival. She is really beautiful, so sometimes people always asked me if we really blood sister. LOL From her, I learn how to care myself as a woman, she taught me which body lotion good for my skin, which is moisturizer good for me etc. She is my motivator too. When I was in my low condition, she always pushed me and ensured me that I am a strong woman who can pass all. May be I am a bit unfair for her, because I rarely tell her about my love story. So, no wonder she rarely knows about who is with me.<br />My relationship with my two brothers is unique. Through them, I learn to be a parent, because when they were a teenager when my parents had their own problem, I replaced my parent position as their parent. I took care about their schools fee, their living cost and all what parents must do for their children.<br />And that is me for them. I am their elder sister and their parent. They rarely say “no” to me and they put much respect to me. They know if they have a problem, they always have me to support them. And they know if I am angry one or two times with them, it is because I care about them and not because I do not like them.<br />And yes the four of us are close to each other. If one of us has a problem or sad or happy, we will feel the same. We support each other and we always there for each other. Of course because all except me have their own family, our time for each other is not much as before. So the family time is one of our favourite time, and to make one family times with complete member means that we should make special schedule.<br />Before I moved to Jakarta, the one who always missed at our family time is me :D I even missed my little brother wedding – yes I am not a good family member. But I always try my best to be with them as long as I can.<br />Sometimes I thought, maybe if that time our father did not leave us, we would not close to each other as we are now. Maybe we would be same like others families who did not care about their siblings, even did not want to help their siblings at all.<br />Like yesterday, we had our family times. Went out to the one Mall in Jakarta, ate our lunch together in Chinese restaurant there and had a nice shopping together after that. It was a simple thing, but you know, the feeling that you feel when together with them, is hard to explain. I feel that I am the blessed one. And nothing can compare it.<br />Same like when I saw how my mom becomes the most beautiful one in front of her all grandson. She looked so happy especially all her grandson wanted to get her attention in the same time. LOL And feel so happy when all my nephew like what I bought for them and when they wanted to play with me.<br />Yes I am so grateful with my family because they are one of the best things that I have. And wish one day, I can add the family members with my man and my child (Amen).Thirty Somethinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14929562721442931031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1488522624135093214.post-27341712471376921702011-11-24T15:34:00.004+07:002011-11-24T16:42:22.704+07:00The actress syndrome :DI have many of beautiful friends (but of course that happens to with a few of my handsome males friend) who have a unique hobby. They never want to let everybody whom fall in love with them, go away from them, even though actually they do not like them at all. It kinds of do not want to let your fans, go away from you :D That is a reason why I call it actress syndrome.<br /><br />So they will let this "fans" go around them, but do not let them to be their lover. They will ask their "fans" to do many things for them, sometimes even to buy all the expensive things for them. Yup poor "fans" :D<br /><br />One of them, ever told me that she could not accept when one of her "fans", falling in love with other woman and then marry this woman. She said her "fans" actually cheated her.LOL And when I asked, how do you sure about it? She answered me : because she is sure 100 % that man (her fans) could not be able to fall in love to another woman. Uhm....<br /><br />Sometimes I feel like they fool all their" fans". And from the bottom of my heart, I really do not comfortable to see this situation. I could not imagine how if I were in the position of the "fans"?<br /><br />You know, there is many people in this world who want to do everything for the one that they love. And want to wait for them as long as they ask them to do. I think it is kind of cruel if you let someone that you could not love, to wait for you. Just reject them and let them to find another people who love them too. Let them to have their own happines<br /><br />May be they would feel hurt one or two months after you reject them, but after that, they will feel all right again and begin their new life to find others. They will not waste their time for waiting for you or being fool by you. <br /><br />Trust me, you still have many friends who loves you more if your reason because you just need love by people. And people still said that you are beauty even though you do not have many "fans" with you. Or if you still want to keep all your "fans", please ask your heart first ... do you want to be in their position? If your answer is NO, so don't keep them with you.<br /><br />And if you are the position of "fans" someone, I just asked you to stop it. Try to forget people who do not love you. people who play with your heart. If they are really love you, they will not let you to wait them so long. They will not fool you, they will proud about you and will tell at least one of their friend that you are his/her lover. By hide you from the world, it is show that actually, they do not deserve the beautiful you.<br /><br />So try to find some one who love you and respect you. If you do not find them yet, just be passion, and don't ever loose your faith. When the time is right, the mr right or miss right will come to you and color your life with their love. Because trust me, God loves you, He will not let you being lonely.Thirty Somethinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14929562721442931031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1488522624135093214.post-28327771302875331462011-11-22T16:35:00.002+07:002011-11-22T17:07:30.407+07:00About Football and the Handsome PlayerOne of sport that I like to watch is football. I begun to like it when I've stayed in Europe a few years ago. At that time, because I could not speak the language of the place where I stayed, so the only tv Channel which I could be able to watch only CNN, MTV and ESPN. As you know all, football is kind of favorite sport in Europe, that is the reason if you open the ESPN, you see many things about football from Bundesliga, Champions League, European Champions, La Liga etc.<br /><br />Why I like it? Because I think football like a mathematic and since I like mathematic, I must like football too :D Even though : sometimes you could not make 100 % prediction in football, everything could be happen at the match. That is the reason too, at the Champion, sometimes you could see that underdog team could be a winner (remember European Champion - when Greek be a winner?) or you could see the strong team, become a loser? (remember about Real Madrid which many expensive football players were there but still .... they could not be a winner)<br /><br />And you can see how the different the style of football team from Latin America and from Europe. Latin America team, like Brasilian team, Mexico team, is ussually play hard, and not like Europe. They play football like a dancing, Smooth and beautiful. Especially if you see how they bring the ball with they foot. So beautiful. My English friend ever said "that is why we called the game : football and not soccer" LOL<br /><br />Lately when I was back to Indonesia, I was so amazing when a few of my female friends like to watch a football. First I thougth because they really love to watch football, but the last I knew that is because many handsome players there. LOL That is the reason why they did not know the rule of the game, because actually they did not watch the game but watch the players hahahahhaaa.<br /><br />And there is the phenomenon nowdays why many women love to watch football. Not watch football but watch the player. There is the reason why David Beckham is really famous for them, even though he could not play football. LOL<br /><br />I did not think that is bad. At least many of my male friends are happy now because their girlfriend or wife even want to joint with them to watch football, and again not because they love to watch football but because they love to watch the player.<br /><br />So if many men will discuss about how good the match after watch the game, many women will discuss about how handsome the player (about the hair cut, about the smile, about the gossip, about the status (with a hope that all the handsome one is always single)).<br /><br />But for me - now I enjoy both - the match and their handsome face :DThirty Somethinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14929562721442931031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1488522624135093214.post-14580151397242448462011-11-21T16:28:00.002+07:002011-11-21T17:02:27.577+07:00Internet -the stranger-the relationshipFor this 20th century, meet someone through something name "internet", is not something special. We can have many friends from all places in this world through internet, even though we did not ever meet them. Somehow, part of us even meet their soulmate through internet. And I thought it is not something weird in this century.<br /><br />Last month one of my friend, asked me about someone that I knew from facebook. Ok we call him Mr A. She asked me because when she saw at her facebook, she found that he and her have the same friend : Me. She asked me if I knew him beside facebook. And I said, I did not know who is Mr A exactly because he first asked me to be his friend at his facebook and because one of his friend is mine, so I accepted him as my friend. I and Mr A of course ever did chat a few times.<br /><br />Then my friend told me that Mr A asked her to be his girlfriend. That is the reason why she wants to know him through me. As a friend, of course I just can tell her to be carefull, and I could not tell her more than that because I did not know him.<br /><br />And the next day, Mr A suddenly was angry with me because of that. He said, why I told my friend that she should be carefull to him. He said that he is not a cheater. He is nice guy :D<br />One thing that I could explain to him that I always tell all woman who asked me about man from the internet "just be carefull"<br /><br />I do not mean to be so rude, but I do not want if someone get cheat by someone through internet. If you google, you will meet many stories about scammer in internet and I though it must be not nice if you hear one of your friend get cheat by this scammer. Better if you already warn them first, so they can be more carefull for every step they make.<br /><br />I did not say that I just made a worse person through internet, not at all. I met many beautiful friends too through the internet, who more care to me than my friend whom I met in the "real" world.<br /><br />And I dd not against a relationship through internet. Not at all, because I have to admit that sometimes, you found many relationship through internet is ending with happiness.<br /><br />But still, you should be carefull. You should follow your feeling, because sometimes, your feeling will lead you through the good way. If there is any slight doubt in your heart, it is better you re-think about it. But of course .... sometimes, if you falling in love with someone it is so hard to think clearly :DThirty Somethinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14929562721442931031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1488522624135093214.post-78085229412737287552011-11-17T16:39:00.003+07:002011-11-17T17:05:25.508+07:00About Twitter - @kharinadhewayanDo you have a Twitter account? I have it since 2009 but really busy with it since January this year. Somehow twitter make me forget something name Facebook.<br /><br />Why do I like twitter?<br /><br />Because through twitter I can follow everybody without ask their permission, vice versa. And it is more simple than Facebook, because you do not need to worry whether people do not like your status (because there is no like or dislike like at the Facebook) and of course you can give your comment about whom followed by you without feel afraid they will reject you - may be they just simple block you if they do not like it. But whose care. I got many information there and I got many funny things too. I learn about people who I thought arrogant before but in the fact he just has a different thinking and quiet person :D<br /><br />Through Twitter, I can read what people think, what people do, where they are, what they eat etc. Especially if they are a famous people in this world, like I knew how Paris Hilton loves Bali or what Kim Kadarsian thought about her wedding preparation or about Indonesian actress who are so anggry to someone etc, all from them and not from the entertaiment or the gossip channel. LOL. Or I know about what my friends do at the moment or what they hate, where they are.<br /><br />And as someone who always needs positive words in her life to make her life easier, of course I like to read all motivation from all the best motivator in this world through twitter<br /><br />And as someone who like to read about her zodiac not because she believe it so much but because she hope all the forecast about the good things in her zodiac forecast will come true, of course I like to read what my zodiac said (but still - take the good one and through away the worse one. LOL)<br /><br />And as someone who like to write what she thinks or what she feels about something, without feel afraid that someone judge her, twitter become one place to devote it. <br /><br />The best thing, because my blackberry support this twitter - so twitter became my friend when I am alone. Read all people Twitter Line (TL), which is funny, sad, arrogant, polite, useful, useless etc. And all kill my time especially if I have to wait somebody (you know exactly that I hate waiting).<br /><br />So - if you had a twitter account, you can follow me @kharinadhewayan and of course I will follow you back.<br />If you do not have ... just open one and follow your fav actrees, your fav actor, your friends, your enemies, your president (hi ... I follow Barrack Obama), your fav tv channel, your fav magazines and please don't forget to follow me :DThirty Somethinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14929562721442931031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1488522624135093214.post-68847775823585318222011-11-14T08:05:00.000+07:002011-11-14T08:06:51.859+07:00Let the life flow as it wants<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-GB</w:LidThemeOther> <w:lidthemeasian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> 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mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">As you know, I often wrote down in here, that I really want to marry and have my own family. And I thought you know that how hard I did try my best to achieve my goal. But still as you know, I am still alone until now. And I have to tell you the truth, all the idea about getting marry as soon as possible, make me feel a bit stress and it burden my life so much. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Last few months, I decided that I will let my life flow as it wants. Whatever will be will be. It did not mean that I give up but I think, I am trying to live my life. Especially I already give it to my God, and let Him to open the way for me to find someone who want to spent his life with me and let us then to be unity in the time which He thinks good for us. And I believe my Almighty know the best for me and if until now I still did not get what I want, maybe He thinks that I am not ready for that. So I just do not stop try to do my best and let every result which will come to me.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I will not sad if the result is not good, because it means that is not for me. And I will not give up. I will not make myself under pressure just because I did not reach my goal. <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">It’s not because that got trauma. Not at all. I am open my heart for any chance that I will meet next one hours, next day next week, next month etc. And I know, because I am a human and not fortune teller, maybe one or two times I will meet the wrong way which direct me to the wrong person who made my heart get hurt. But if I let it flow like the water flow in the river, if something goes wrong, I can stand up fast.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">So I will enjoy the time from meet someone, became close and closer and then if he is really someone whom perfect for me, and without any stress, with all the good will between us, that is the time that I get marry and settle my life. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">And it means that I will not make everybody who is close with me get stress because have to think that if they close with me means that they have to marry me. I will not let them to be under pressure because of my idea about married especially because of this year I ever wrote in here that one of my goal<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>this year is get marry. Hahahahaha</p> <p class="MsoNormal">If they are really love me, may be one day they will think to make a family with me. If they really need me, they will ask me to be their wife. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">At least through the idea to let everything in my life flow like the water in the river, I will not get stress if something goes not as I hope. I will not too sad if something do not run well. And it will make my life easier than before. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">I always believe, that no one can stop if God will something. We even never know what will happen next minutes. Same like I believe everything is happen because a reason. So for all that happen to me now, it must be a reason. That is the reason I believe a miracle. Something that happen to us which is in people logic it could not be able to happen. Nothing is impossible for Him, right?</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Do you agree with me? </p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p>Thirty Somethinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14929562721442931031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1488522624135093214.post-84134690568126096342011-10-21T07:47:00.002+07:002011-10-21T10:12:03.872+07:00My 4 years circle<p>Do you know that I have 4 years circle? </p><p>Yup I have 4 years circle. Of course not exactly 4 years more or less (usually not less:D). I will explain you what is the meaning of my 4 years circle : 4 years circle means that usually every 4 years (more or less - usually more not less) I always move to other place.</p><p>Actually it came to me after I talked with a young handsome guy from Vietnam who flirted with me at the one Asean Workshop which I attended. He begun to ask about my life and suddenly felt interested (may be to get my intention - *over self confidence LOL), he tried to map my life and then through discussion, we agreed about my 4 years circle. Of course the end of discussion he wished that my next circle of life would be with him in Vietnam .... hahahhahahahaahaha.</p><p>It begin after I finished my senior high school. So from Medan (north Sumatra) to Jakarta (Java) and after 4 years in Jakarta I moved to Medan again and then after 4 years I moved again to Germany and after 4 years there ... I moved to Medan again and then after 4 years .... here I am in Jakarta. </p><p>It is the reason why my friend always asked me first where I stayed, because they as far they know, I am not always in the same place :D I told you that they always said that I am unpredictable, right?</p><p>But all the move things never in my planning before. Example I am in Jakarta now actually I never made any plan to live in here since Jakarta is not my favorite place to live. So after I resigned from my job in Medan which is just happen without my plan, I went to Jakarta and I thought, it would be kind of transit same like when after I move from Germany to Indonesia, I stayed a few months in Jakarta before moved to Medan. But suddenly I got offer a good job in Jakarta, and the office is so nice ... so here I am in Jakarta.</p><p>So next year is my 4 years in Jakarta and I begin to think what will happen to my next journey. Will I broke my circle life and still stayed in Jakarta or I will move to other place (may be Bali or Hawaii or South Korea or Africa or back to Europe again .... uhm I do not know) , or how will my life then (of course it should be better). I really do not know ... I am not fortune teller. So one thing that I know ... what ever will happen to me, I can pass it , because my past showed me that even the worse thing I could pass it well. So I am sure ... I am strong enough for all of that. Actually from the bottom of my heart, I can't wait to see what will happen in my next life, with whom I will spend it, how is the color of my life then. Uhm..</p><p>The good things of that ... somehow ... I did not feel to bored about life. And make me feel easier to adjust myself where ever I life</p><p>How about you? Do you have circle of life like mine? </p>Thirty Somethinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14929562721442931031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1488522624135093214.post-33255132951712741162011-10-20T07:57:00.002+07:002011-10-20T09:19:30.599+07:00Extreme Sport - take your risk<p>Yesterday, some one said to me about extreme sport and live life and take any risk :D</p><p>And I remember, one day when I was fresh staff at one of the NGO, my boss asked me to go to the small village in the rural area, which is you the road could not pass by vehicle, and the road like hills so you have to climb up and down and took around 2 hours to go there. The village is not have any electricity, the house made by woods and many people there did not use any shoes or slippers so they are bare food. And there is no toilet there, so if you want to do pee, you should do that beside the big tree back the house :D </p><p>First my boss thought that I might be a spoiled woman, so the first of the journey he was insult me a bit :D But after we finished the journey and saw that everything is ok with me without any complain (seriously not too many women want to go there because the area is hard to get), he changed his mind and did not worry about me again when I went to every rural area. </p><p>I ever told you that I have two faces, right? </p><p>Many people who see me for the first time think that I am very spoiled woman who know about mode, go from Mall to Mall. But hi .... of course I love to go from Mall to Mall, I like to use high heels but I know how to climb a maintain ( I climbed almost all mountains in Java), I ever climbed two mountain in one and half days - even though I had to allow my food nail gone away. LOL, I know how to do wall climb and rock climb. I know how to do rafting even in flood area from the stage 1 until stage 5 , I know how to build a tend in a few minutes, I know how to good packing so you can bring everything in your back pack. I know how to do rappling and jumaring - something that army always do like the movie, and I am good in that, I am good to walk at the bridge which made by rope. I could do bunggee jumping, I ever slept a few times at the forest - which is famous with the wild animal. I love to camp near the river or sea, drink a hot drink near the camp fire, fished and then cooked it what we get. I love to hear to voice of nature in the night.</p><p>That is the reason why no body at my home feel afraid if I am traveling around alone backpacking. Because they know that I know how to take care of myself and I got to use to be in the extreme situation. Same that is the reason why my two brothers always talked to me about their extreme sport or we talked about new kind of rope or figure of eight or safe belt or mountain shoes or the beautiful of new and light tend. And that is the reason too, my brother who works at Int NGO and who always gone to the war area, always asked me first and discussed about the possible there. </p><p>For me, as long as I know what the situation, I know how your condition there, and which possibility that you have if something wrong, I feel is all right to do. But it is hard for me to let people especially if they are close to me to do all the extreme things without I know this kind of condition. I do not like loose someone just because of the stupid things. </p><p>Or may be because I got to use as the father or my siblings, so sometimes I am over protective and looks unfair ... I mean I can do that but not you, with the reason ... I can take care of myself but maybe not you. LOL</p><p>But beside that, I love to go to shop, go to massage, use nice clothes, eat nice food, sleep at nice hotel, do manicure - pedicure, do handicraft - my beading - made my own ring, necklace, bracelet( I even sold it sometimes if people wants and accept any order for wedding gift), I even do stitch now days and now I am trying to find a course place to make a bag since I want to have my own bags which is match with my desire. </p><p>Hi ... see I know how to enjoy my life. I know how to feel to do any extreme things and I dare to do that. Not like what is in your head say :D Almost all may friends said that I am un predictable. Some times I did something that they thought I would not want to do :D But yes I did. And I did not regret it :D</p><p>Life just once, right? And sometimes you should choose which kind of things that you want to do, the things which risk your life but make your adrenaline going high, or just comfort life or do both. Up to you but do not judge people and thought that they have their life depress :D</p><p>Have a great day </p>Thirty Somethinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14929562721442931031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1488522624135093214.post-16675047982127610952011-10-19T08:19:00.006+07:002011-10-19T09:41:30.236+07:00It is nothing compare that know you are safe<p>Today ... after I felt worry about my friend .... he send me a letter. </p><p>Said that he is all right and he found someone, he respect her, that is the reason why he never talked to me anymore. </p><p>Do you know .... I feel really really happy to get that email, never happy got any email like this before. </p><p>Just because it means that everything is all right with him. So it means that I can sleep well and can release my burden because of worry about him. </p><p>But the other things, I feel so shame too, because in his mail, it looks like that I wrote that kind email just because I want him to be my boy friend. Uhm .... </p><p>He said he did not want with me because he read what I wrote in here, in my blog and he thought that I do not love myself. So he do not want with woman who do not love herself. And then I thought ... uhm.... instead of suddenly gone away and found other, if he like me why do not asked me first, or be a gentle man and asked me or told me. hahahaahhaha. But anyway, is ok. I could not force everybody to like me, right? Or to fall in love with me. But ... Did I ever force him to be my boy friend or something? Did I ever ask him to do that? Uh</p><p>Actually, when I wrote that email to him .... just pure because I could not sleep well, eat well cause of dream so bad about him and worry about him. Just that.</p><p>For me what ever happen with me with people who ever closed with me they are still my friend and not my enemy. May be I need a few months to forgive and to forget. But they are still my friends. And as my friends, of course from the bottom of my heart, I want them be all right everyday. And as my friends if I got a bad dreams about them, of course I would try hard to find them and make sure that everything is all right with them. All because I care. All because they ever be made a different color at my heart. And without them I never be like this now. </p><p>So now I thought ... should I regret my email to him, especially I feel so shame because he thoughts that I am so desperate woman who send him email just to get his attraction. But then I thought again ... is ok if he thought so worse about me, because I could not choose my dream, and especially in my tradition, worse dream about some one means that a warning from nature through you to remind the person to take care more about them self. So may be God warned him through me, and if because of my warning, he could be safety, so why not? I take all the risk to send any mail :D </p><p>And what he thought about me, just make me feel shame, right? It is nothing if compare that he could be safe because my warning, right? </p><p>Again thanks God .... I am grateful that he is ok and please God, always take a good care of him. </p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Thirty Somethinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14929562721442931031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1488522624135093214.post-3802185588513059832011-10-18T07:58:00.002+07:002011-10-18T08:22:19.379+07:00Worry<div align="left">Do you ever feel worry about your friend? </div><div align="left"><br /></div><div align="left">I feel worry now about my friend. He suddenly gone away begin of this year, but I think may be because just because he is too busy or may be lazy to talk with me. So, I do not think too much, especially I saw him a few times on line (sometimes I am invisible in YM), so I think ... he is fine. </div><div align="left"><br /></div><div align="left">But last week, it's begin something strange .... I begin to dream about him and bad dream. In my dream ... he looks like sink at the sea and needs help. And this kind of dream always come to me again and again. </div><div align="left"><br /></div><div align="left">First and second days, I just ignore it, I thought, it was just because I was too tired (even though, it's a bit funny because why suddenly he who almost 10 months did not have any interactive with me, come to my dream), but third, fourth and now .... it makes me soooo worry.</div><div align="left"><br /></div><div align="left">I sent him email yesterday ... but still no answer at all. </div><div align="left"><br /></div><div align="left">I do not know if I am too emotional ... but I do not like to feel like this kind of feeling. Especially I can't do much, just send him email. I even do not know his contact number (because the last time we talked he was moving and moving and the last place is one of dangerous place in this world!!!!!) . </div><div align="left"><br /></div><div align="left">I really hope everything is ok with him. </div><div align="left"><br /></div><div align="left">And still waiting ... he answer my email, even though just write " I am ok ".</div><div align="left"><br /></div><div align="left">BTW: do you know how to get rid off this worry feeling ? I could not eat well and sleep well, just think about him (wish his partner/his gf/his wife will not kill me because of that). </div><div align="center"><br /></div><div align="center"><br /></div><div align="center"><br /></div><div align="left"><br /></div>Thirty Somethinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14929562721442931031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1488522624135093214.post-27818457043179537192011-10-17T09:27:00.007+07:002011-10-17T11:58:46.491+07:00Letter for My Mom<p>Dear Mom, </p><p>This is the letter for you, the letter which is never read by you but I want to write because it is the way for me to share what I feel without have to hurt you, because you always being hysterical, angry and cry every time I share to you what I feel. You thought that I just wanted to hurt you. But no mom, I never have any slightest idea to hurt you. I love you so much mom. </p><p>Mom, since I was child until now, I never got any hug from you. I never got any kiss from you. And do you know mom? I miss it so much. I always need your hug and then you tell me that everything is gonna be all right, every time I have a problem. But mom ... I never got all of that from you. Don't worry mom ... you do not need to solve my problem mom, I will do it. But still ... I am still your daughter who needs her mom, when she is in trouble or when she is in her bad day. I am still your daughter mom, who need you as her "home" the place who she can always back where ever she feels tired with her hard life. </p><p>Mom, sometimes I feel tired to be your mom. To solve your problem, to solve your children problems. I feel tired to be a parents for my siblings and for you and my father. And mom, being tired is not mean that I do not want to do that, not mom ... being tired mean sometimes I need take a rest a bit and need time to refresh my mind. So, please mom, don't always get angry to me and tell my siblings that I am so rude to you .... no mom .... I am not rude, but I do not know why sometimes the problems come together in the same time, and I need to be quite first before take any emotional decision which is I regret after that. Until now ... you know that I am always be your good daughter, right? I never run away from my responsibility and never gave up, right? I never leave you alone with you or my siblings problems, right? I am always there for you, mom. </p><p>Mom, as your child, I want you to be a strong woman. I want you feel happy. I want all the best in this world. But mom, all that must begin from yourself first. Not from me, not from my siblings and especially not from my dad. </p><p>Let my dad with his new life, mom. Let him with his happiness and let yourself try to find your own happiness. Forget your past, mom. And begin with a new day. You are beautiful, mom. I know, if compare with me .... there is many men fall in love with you and want to share their life with you. You deserve to get happiness with another kind man, who knows how treat you well and for his small world you are all. </p><p>No .. it is not because I want to release my responsibility for your life mom, not like that. But as human, I know, you need someone who can share your life with. And as your children, I and my siblings could not give it to you. Because all of us have their own life mom. Please try to understand it. And don't get angry and cry if I told you about this. Not because we do not care about you but somehow ... especially my siblings ... they have their own family who need their care and time too. </p><p>Mom, do you know that I love you so much? Because at least you did not leave me and my siblings like my father. </p><p>Mom, since I was child, you always told my sister that you did not understand me because I never share anything to you. Mom, that was not because I did not want to share anything with you but where ever I told you ... instead of hear me or gave me a solution, you always got angry to me. </p><p>You never protected me from any one, you even just quite every time my father hit me with his belt because of the problem that often I did not know. You just told me that I should cry in front of my father so he would stop hit me. But mom ... no ... I would not cry ... I would not want to do that kind of trick ... I just wanted to hear from you and from my father what was the wrong thing that I did, which made him hit me with his belt. I did not feel hurt at my body mom ... but at my heart. The big part of that because you did not offer your shoulder to my cried on. You did not give me your warm hugs. You were just quiet. </p><p>Mom, do you know, sometimes, because of loading of works at my office, I feel tired and do not have time to hear your needy. But it doesn't mean that I do not care about it. I will do what ever I can do for you mom. I just need take a rest a bit and drink water a bit after back home and then begin to hear your problems. Just that mom. Not mean that I ignore you. No mom. </p><p>Do you know ... where ever I go, the first thing that I always remember is what I have to buy for you, mom. Just for you, mom. Not for myself. I just want you to feel happy.I want to give everything that I can buy for you, mom. The best for you. So ... sorry if sometimes what I bought was not match with your will, so don't say that I care my siblings more than you, no mom ... I can buy another, just tell me, as simple as that. </p><p>Mom, again ... please do not always be angry and hysterical, I will hear you and always be there for you, mom but still your daughter needs her mom as her mother. </p><p>I love you so much mom</p><p>Sincerely</p><p>Your daughter</p><p><br /></p>Thirty Somethinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14929562721442931031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1488522624135093214.post-60233058424271392992011-10-13T14:54:00.004+07:002011-10-13T16:16:12.918+07:00Introduce and tell the world :D<p>Do you know, what I actually rarely do? </p><p>Introduce my boy friend to my friend or (especially) to my family. Of course I will introduce them if we met on the street but I mean here is asked my boy friend to come to my home or to meet my friend and then introduce them as my boy friend.</p><p>Why? I do not know. May be because usually I did not leave near my family and second may be because I feel it is not their problem but mine :D</p><p>Its mean that I do not proud about them? Of course I do. I even never let people know if they treat me bad. I always talk about all the good things from them. I rarely (almost never) tell everybody about my problems with my boy friend. Because no matter who I choose as my boy friend, people should has a big respect to him. All his bad side let be mine. </p><p>May be after one year or two year broke up, I want to tell about the story but not if I still in relationship with that person. No way.</p><p>Beside that, I feel afraid too, to share or tag me and my boy friend picture together especially at facebook. The reason? I feel afraid that if my boyfriend angry with me and I look like crazy woman who want to tell the world about the relationship. Of course it is ok for me if my boy friend did. </p><p>But lately, I feel jealous with all women who feel free to put all their pictures with their boyfriend even tag it to their boy friend face book or put it as the profile picture every where. Same like I feel jealous with all women who feel free to introduce their boyfriend to whole the world and the boyfriend want to do the same. Uhm ....</p><p>Until now all the boy friend that I had, did not do that to me. Many of them even tried, not to introduce me to their friend whom we met. The situation always like that: in the public area, I and my boyfriend walked together and we met his friend, his friend greet him, and talked to him and I stayed like stupid person beside him :D It looked like that feel afraid that people know that we had any kind of relationship. Uhmmm .... or may be because I am too ugly. LOL I even had a boy friend who never wanted to walk together with me, if he must go out with me, it must be not too far away from his house. He just wanted me to meet him at his house. Uhm .... </p><p>I feel really jealous with all that women. </p><p>I really want to feel one day, there is a prince charming come to my life and proud about me and want to tell the whole world about me as his girlfriend, his fiance or his wife. Not must tell them if I am beautiful (of course I am feel moooooreeeee happy if he do that. LOL)</p><p>Wish me luck, will you? So I will not feel jealous again with all blessing women :D</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Thirty Somethinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14929562721442931031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1488522624135093214.post-51994339364629871802011-10-10T15:03:00.003+07:002011-10-10T16:09:54.777+07:00(I think)every couple should not be friend at facebook<p>Do you have an account on facebook? If yes, do you have any relationship? If yes are you in your lover friend list on facebook? If yes, do you have any problem with that? If yes means you are same like average people in this world. If not means, you are or your couple or both are really amazing people or you or your couple or both do not care about each other :D</p><p>Why like that?</p><p>Because usually, what we wrote down there about others maybe will seen different for others. And it will be difficult if our lover sees it different too. (S)he will be angry with us :D</p><p>Once time, my ex boy friend when I was at the college gave any comment about my picture. I thought his comment was nothing, because he just wrote that my family looks so nice in the picture and he was envy it. </p><p>And unfortunately his wife (who already be at my friend list and his friend list) read it and she wrote down, that is the statement means that he regret to marry her :D uhm.... And then he explained it there (at my picture at my facebook!!!) that he just meant that he wanted like me and my sibling who he knew well, really close to each other. And his wife (still at my picture at my facebook) gave another comment, wrote that it looked not like that. And my friend answered (still at my picture at my facebook) please trust him etc ...</p><p>And all the arguing of this couple are at my picture at my facebook, can you imagine? Just because I ever had a relationship with my friend looooooooooooooooong time ago. </p><p>Another story, long time ago, when I was still in a moody person, and when my mood was so bad which changed me to be a super duper jealous woman .... so I begin to check my boy friend (now of course become my ex :D) wall at face book. And I tried to ask him the explanation for every single word to others women which I thought too romantic. Can you imagine? In the fact may be he wrote it without any meaning and just wanted to be kind to them as his friend. But for me as the "bitch", of course could not accept it at all. LOL Just thought that he tried to cheat me (yup I was a bad person :D)</p><p>Of course he did the same too, he begun to check my wall and asked me one by one and investigated it. The problem was my male friends list at my face book more than my female friends. And as a bit kind of nice woman (according to me), of course all that male sometimes wrote and put xoxoxo (as kiss symbol) or babe or any sweet words which actually mean nothing just nice word. But he thought it mean that men tried to seduce me and tried to be my boy friend. Uhm ... I thought first: my (ex)boyfriend should realize that I am not kind of Miss Universe, I am not as beauty as that, so no male would suddenly fall in love with me, just because saw my pictures. LOL And second, he send the same thing to others women like many of my male friend did, was it mean that he tried to seduce them too? :P</p><p>So ... of course at that time we begun to argue because of all, which were happen at the face book. And the problems became more complicated because we were in long distance relationship. Many miscommunication were there and it made our problem became worst and worst and the end he decided that it was better for us to make a distance at that time .</p><p>Even though then I learn much from this situation, begin to reduce my emotion and try to calm down before I open my mouth :D, try to see anything in others position. But still I thought if we both were not as a friend in a facebook, may be we were still together. LOL </p><p>And after that I heard many kind of the story like this from my friends or friend of my friends. Arguing, fighting and broke up because of misunderstanding which is actually could be avoided if we did not be a friend at face book. LOL </p><p>But I could not said that all meeting in face book is bad, just because of the problem ... because in the fact many people meet their soul mate through face book. One of my friend even married his girl friend who he met through facebook (he is in UK and his gf at that time was in Hong Kong), and last year they have a baby. Nice right? </p><p>So what do you think? Are you agree with me? </p>Thirty Somethinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14929562721442931031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1488522624135093214.post-81176872184822327712011-10-06T11:58:00.002+07:002011-10-06T12:25:45.869+07:00A relationship is not an exam, why do you cheat?<p>Today I read nice status from my face book friends, he wrote : "A relationship is not an exam, why do you cheat?" </p><p>Be in the middle of all my friends who have an affair now, of course something make me feel that I should life with close eyes sometimes. Pretend that I did not know what exactly they do, even though in one part of my heart did not agree with it. </p><p>Relationship for me not just about love and care each other but about kind of responsibility to take a good care about something name "relationship"</p><p>It is not like kind of exam, that you can cheat. It is not kind of gamble that you can play people heart as you want. Not just like that. </p><p>If you do not like your partner anymore, and you could not fix your relationship why you should be kind of "chicken" ... why do you be kind of coward, why do not tell to them directly before you begin with others. </p><p>Don't use your children as your reason why you are still in the relationship which is already cheated by you!!! Don't ever do that. Why do you involved them in your coward time? Do you not feel ashame? They have their own feeling too. </p><p>It is either you repair your relationship or you you destroy it. You could not do both :D</p><p>I am not kind of angel. I am a sinner too. I ever confessed that I ever fall in love with a married guy. But I stop it because I felt guilty all the time. And felt shame on me, because I ever in the position of their wife. I knew how it will hurt them and I still wanted to do that, where was my heart!!!!!!!!</p><p>So again .... if you have any kind of relationship (no matter how worse this relationship), don't cheat. End your relationship if you could not stay any longer or try to make it better. The choice is in your heart.</p><p><br /></p>Thirty Somethinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14929562721442931031noreply@blogger.com0