When you loose your best friend

Today, one of my best friend, delete me from his friend list at Facebook. Do you know, it is kind of shock for me, cause I think I never try to hurt him. Never try to bother him (and he is my friend and become my best friend lately) for almost 17 years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When I am writing down this, I felt so hurt at my heart. It is hurting me more than if I felt broken heart. And it is so pain. Can you imagine?

As an old friend, of course I care about him. Really care about him. I am lying if I said no. And I am lying too, if I say that he do not mean much for me. He mean a lot at my life. But as a best friend too, I never want to force him if he did not want to talk with me too. But I always let him know, that I always be there for him whenever he needs someone to talk with, or someone to count on or someone to support him at the worse times.

And for the first time, I do not know what's my fault, and he doesn't want to talk with me. I really do not know. Really wish that he talk to me or angry with me if I am doing something wrong to him. I even let him hit me if it make him sacrifice. It's ok for me. Really ok. As long as he is still want to be my old friend.

17 years it is not short times. And if this long times means nothing for him .... uhm. In my life, that is the first time I loose my old friend. And it is hurt me so.

I wish one day, he will tell me what is wrong. He will forgive me if I was doing something wrong that I did not realize but was hurt him so much. He will talk with me like our old time and sharing good times and bad times like we always did.

If you read this, you know that whatever happen between us, we still have something name "friendship" and it was ever been beautiful. So please, always be my friend.