Every body sweetheart

Something that I couldn't do until now is to be kind a sweet - cute woman. That is something which is not perfect for me. Even though if you see me physical - I am kind of small woman :D

Not mean that I am not a nice person, but it is hard for me to be really girly who is sweet and cute and talk in a sweet and cute way. No ... its not me at all.

With me, you can talk from serious until funny joke, I can laugh without think about how to control my manner - to laugh in a good manner I mean. I will talk in a normal way without too busy to control my body language - make it look cute, sweet even sexy. I will tell you what is in my mind and will not simply agree with your mind. LOL Yes, I know I am not kind of princess and still not trying to be one of that. What you see in me that is you will get :D I am just I am.

I am prefer if people say that I am funny rather than I am sweet or cute hahahhahahaha. I think until now, just one people who said that I am sweet and cute. And I still want to ask him if he is really serious about it or it is one of his joke for me. LOL

Can you imagine, in my work environment now, there is who one who is always looking like a sweetheart and innocent woman. So ... every time she did something wrong, people still think that she is sweetheart and I am the bad guy hahahhahhahaha

Am I angry with that? Of course not ... I just need more time to make them clear about my decision or my position, so it will no misunderstanding anymore.

But of course sometimes, I think, my life will be easier if I were like the sweet - cute - innocent ladies. Hi .... I am still human, right? My neighbor grass is sometimes greener than mine. LOL

Or sometimes I still think may be because of that I am still single until now.Ouch...... :D

Uhm .... what do you think?

The meaning of "relationship"

In my age now, I experienced by myself, I saw, I heard about many kind of relationship. But unfortunately more old I am, more worse relationship issue around me. I rarely see people who really take care about their relationship. It looks as relationship just a symbol that you are not alone, not more.

They have boy friend/girl friend or husband/wife but still trying to find an affair without feel guilty. Uhm......

I do not say that I am a holly woman, who never did any kind of cheated in my relationship. But I will promise you that I will try my best to respect my relationship which I have one day.

Respect the relationship mean that I will not cheat (with other man) the one who will be agree to have a serious relationship with me. At least if I think, I can not hold the relationship (but of course I will try my best before I decide to give up), I will tell him, better we end it and I will not tell my problems or try to find any one before it really end.

For me, if you could not stick with one person, if you still want to try with others, why should you have any kind of relationship. It is better if you are really single without any kind of relationship. You are free to do anything without feel guilty and look fair for the person who has a relationship with you :D Have relationship mean that you have a commitment, so you have to take a responsibility with your commitment.

To have a relationship means that you are trying to share your life with one person, even though you are not married. To have a relationship means that you are trying to focus with one person. And it will be beautiful if at the end you decide to have a commitment after that.

May be I am oldies, but I think I am a simple person, I do not want to feel so guilty and do not want to have problems if I have a relationship and then I begin to walk together or enjoy my day with another. For what the relationship that I have.

If I have a problem with the one who has a relationship with me, I will try my best to solve together with him or if I feel bored with him, I will try hard to tell him that I need something new in our relationship (may be candle light dinner or going to the cinema will save our relationship)

So please, if you have a relationship, don't cheat again with another. Or if you can't stick with one people, just please don't have any kind of relationship :D

Simple, right?

Drugs and House Music

Last Friday night, my friends and I were going together after office hours. Actually not really office hours because it was already too late around 9.00 PM cause I still had a late meeting. So we decided to spend our Friday night as usual we always did before (one time per month) , we call it Ally mc Beal times (if you ever saw the tv series "Ally Mc Beal" - about lawyers who always spend their after office hours time at the Bar to hear live music. The tv series was famous around 1990 something - I forgot :))

But this time, one my friend, asked me to spend longer until early morning (oh ... I have to tell you that my friends knew each others longer than I knew them), so they asked me to joint them - kind of know them more :D

Of course because I had a time and still no one yet waiting home for me, I agree to joint with them. Why not. Right?

And the story begin. First they brought me to the place, one kind of bar which is has a disk jockey who was playing kind of house music and the place is too quite. I still could accept the music because it was not too "house music" which made your head burn . LOL

But because of too quite ... mean not to many people there, my friends asked me to move. I've felt a bit happy when they've decided that. And hope - they would change the music with something which you could sing a long and dance together.

Before we moved ... they brought me to one place which was far away - around center of Jakarta. I asked one of them, why they brought me there, and they laughed at me, thought that I was joking with them. Uhm....

One of my friend then has gone a few minutes and backed again to the car and then brought a few drugs with him and shared with my other friends include me. And when I refused it, they thought that I made a joke with them.

So I told them, not just a drug, I even never tried cigar before, I never smoked. And of course, because they are my friends, they could accept my reason even though they still not understand why I did not want to try it.

I did not say that I am kind of "holly" woman, but I think - drug is absolutely not my thing and I do not understand why I need something which is bad for my body. Not in my logical thinking. May be I am fool but what ever they said, I still did not want to try to use any drug beside medicine.

Then the awful one and my nightmare when after that they brought me to the Night Club which is full of drunk people and people who use drugs and kind of house music. It is so awful. I mean for our age, this kind of Night Club is not fit for us anymore. And I could not enjoy at all. I cant understand how can they enjoy the night if they are under drugs control. And why they did not feel afraid if suddenly police catch them. I did not understand. May be next time I have to ask them to see from their point of view, how they enjoy this kind of fool things :D

I just wanted to hear live music - the music which I could sing along with and dance with and laughing and talking with my friends. Not kind of "house music" - which I just could heard the loud music with a Disc Jockey (DJ), and surround by people who was under drug or alcohol control. So for me 5 minutes was enough to stay there and decided to say good bye to my friends and back home.

Of course my friends felt guilty, but what can I do, drugs and House Music are not my type. And I do not want to pretend them that I enjoy it. I do not care if they thought that I am not kind of "cool woman" because of that. It is ok. And I did not want to judge that what they did is wrong too. They are already mature enough, to decide what is right and what is wrong.

And it is still funny for me, because as my friend, they really thought that I am a kind of woman who still want to use drugs, hear kind of horror music (I mean "house music") and enjoy this kind of horror Night Club with that kind of horror people. LOL

But of course because they are my friends, I still love them as my friend as long as they never ask me to joint with them with that kind of horror night. LOL And I bet, they never did again.