The one I love

Many of my friends asked me whether I have some one special or not.The funny things, they did not believe whatever my answer to them :) May be because if I said 'no', it looks impossible, cause how can some one like me, do not have boy friend at all. And if I said 'yes', they always saw me, went alone.

 

 

Actually, I have some one that I love and (he said) loves me too. What kind of our relationship, how often we meet, etc, uhm ... let it just my and his secreet. Same like the question, where I and he will bring this relationship. I just know, that until now, I have him. I do not know the future, I am not a fortune teller :D I am trying my best for this relationship and if something going wrong, I will not regret too.

 

 

If then,  you ask me if I want to marry him. I will tell you, clearly, YES. But if you ask me if he wants to marry me, uhm... I don't know. We never talk seriously about it. Or may be one day I will ask him and wish his anwer yes too. And if you ask me why I trust him, I think because he trust me too. Because I love him, I should have more positive thinking about him, right? One or two times, may be I feel jealous, but I am trying hard to stop my bad thingking. Que sera - sera, what ever will be, just will be. I have my God always by me.

 

 

Through him, I learn to be a strong, to be a brave, to trust people. He was there when I was in my lowest point and he is there too when I reached my dreams. He always believe me that I can do when people did not think that I be able to do that. He trusted me when people thought that they could not trust me. With him around me, I can feel that I am the most beautiful woman in this world.

Uhm ... so please wish me luck :D

Stop thingking, start loving

A few days ago, I read the good time line at twitter 'stop thinking, start loving'. I bet partof us, always think a lot before we brave enough to say and to show love. And the funny think that we are braver to say and show hate. Yup, it's happen to me too :D

I never think first if I get angry to someone, I will say directly to them about my anger and I am brave enough to take a risk if someone get angry to me when I show or say them when I hate or angry to them. But different with saying something name "love", I feel scare that I have to take a risk, rejected by someone because of love that I show or say to them. So before I show or say, in my mind always show me a nightmare about how someone loose his/her dignity because of rejected some one.

And now because of the tag line which I read before, I should do the reverse. More brave to show or to say my love. If they are rejected or try to hide me or do not want to be my friend anymore because of that, that is their problem. As long as I did not do something worse to them, or as long as I did not force me to love me the same way I love them, and as long as I just want to give love not ask for the return, I think I can't be the bad person because I give love to some one, right? :D

And I should re think again and again before I talk about anger, hate or any bad things to some one, especially if they close enough to me. Because actually, it will hurt them and if I were them, might be I would be hurt too. I do not want to have many enemies in my life.

And if some one that I do not love say that they love me. I will do same like I alwaysdo before, I will not reject them, will not hate them, but tell them the truth that that is my honor to get love from them, but I love them in a different ways. Of course I still want to be their friend, as long as they want to. But if they thought that they could not accept it, it is ok for me. As long as their happy. Just tell them, please don't hate me, because of different love that I have to them.

And I think if we have much loves in this world. We want to do like a child, justshow love without much thinking, may be there will be no war in this world anymore. Like anothers wise words said : stop war, make love :-)

With a lot of loves.

Tiger's in me.

In China zodiac, I am a person who born at Tiger years.

So, that is what they say about me as Tiger, LOL :

Occupying the 3rd position on the Chinese Zodiac, the Tiger symbolizes such character traits as bravery, competitiveness and unpredictability. Tigers love to be challenged and will accept any challenge if it means protecting a loved one or protecting their honor.

They don’t worry about the outcome because they know they’ll always land on their feet. Don’t let their calm appearance fool you though; Tigers will pounce when they feel it’s necessary. Born to lead, Tigers can be stubborn if they realize they’re not in charge. They have a slight tendency to be selfish but overall, Tigers are extremely generous. They’re very intelligent and they’re always on alert. Tigers are very charming and are well-liked by others. They are not motivated by money or power.

As they do their enemies, Tigers have a tendency to pounce on their work. Afterwards, they’re left feeling exhausted. Although they’ll soon bounce right back, over time this approach can cause problems with their health. Tigers need to develop a more balanced approach to life so they can utilize their energy more efficiently.

Tigers have a continual need to be challenged which may explain why they jump from job to job. This isn’t necessarily a problem because they’re smart and able to quickly master new subjects. The best jobs for Tigers are those that will lead them towards positions of leadership. Some suitable careers for Tigers include: advertising agent, office manager, travel agent, actor, writer, artist, pilot, flight attendant, musician, comedian and chauffeur.

Creative in their passion, Tigers will never bore their partners. They’re expressive, polite and trustworthy, but watch out. Tigers tend to dominate their relationships. This tendency is instinctive and when monitored closely, such behavior can be kept under control. Partners need to be equally active to keep up with the Tiger’s sense of adventure.

So ... how do you think about me as Tiger? :D

See with your heart - not only with your eyes

Last few weeks, I realize that I used my eyes more than my heart to see people problem or to see people reaction.

And that was cause many problems with me. I looked like a mad old woman, who loose her control because of less love. LOL

Especially because of my job at my office, where I have to handle all staff at the office. May be all of them, thought that I could not sacrifice with all they did, some one who just know something name "COMPLAIN", some one who thought that only she can do everything perfect. No one can do like her.

Yup, actually if I am in the middle of my stress because of the dateline, it is easier for me to get angry. And ussually one trick that I always do to handle my angriness, is sitting down, take a deep breath and trying to change my point of view.

And than use my heart and trying to put my self at their position. I am using this method again and again and seems work. And the best things from that, I can through away my angriness, do not ill feel and the best of that, I did not hurt someone by accident because of my words.

Because if we use our heart to see everything, from people point of view. It will not need many of your passion, and it will easy for you to forgive everybody. Sometimes, people do something for someone because of their good will - want to help people. But when they did it, unfortunately the result is not as same as what they think or sometimes it make the problem became worse. But trust me, many of them, often did not mean it. So, I thought it is not fair if we get angry with them just because of that. Just forgive them, tell them in the good way, why it is better if they did not do it, so they will understand and will not just ill feel to you because they did not understand what is the trouble they make it because of their action.

My weakness now, is if I am too tired, have too much work, hard for me to sit down, take a deep beath and try to use my heart to see deeper. May be now I should handle my self to more care about them and be passion with them no matter how tired I am.

But I believe, I can do it next week , so there will be only smile face around me :D

Women and technology

90 % staff at my office are women, It is the reason why our network always said that we are fabby's angel ( PS: my boss name is Fabby) LOL. But if you think that all cubicle at my office are tidy because of the women staff ...... I tell you now, you are wrong, because you just find all messy place there hahahhahhaa

As you know, most of women have a difficult relationship with something name technology, that is happen too with the women staff at my office, all of them just can use computer without have a knowledge how to maintain it, They even need some one to help them to connect their laptop to their computer. LOL

If you ask why. I just can say that I do not know, may be because technology need too much logical thinking. And most women did not like to use the logical way to solve any problem, cause we use our feeling to do it. LOL

Beside that manual book of the the technology always look like a boring book, which can make most of us - women, feel lazy to read it :D Is it hard to make the manual book looks like a nice and simple book? Or why the manual book do not use eye catching colour and detail explanation. Why the creator of the manual book (I bet must be man. LOL - yes I am bias gender now :D), think that we - women know what they mean, by just say the important thing and forget the detail. Is it hard to make the manual book full of colour with full of pictures (which help us to understand which button we should press, or if the stand by mode mean that our laptop can use again in a second if we press any key or which us to understand that sometimes our printer could not print something not because of it broken but because of we did not tide the cable good enough)

So gentleman, please understand, that is not because we - women are not smart enough to understand the technology, but because of the manual of technology is not too fancy enough for us to read it :D

If the manual book is a bit same fancy and funny like make up book, may be women will have better relationship with it. And we will repair our own gadget without men's help. LOL
Because if the manual book is still same like now ........ don't hope our relationship with the technology become better :D

Have a great weekend all

Is it the "size" matter for us (red: woman)?

As an Indonesian woman who ever had a long relantionship with western man, the question which is always asked to me from many Indonesia male and female (yes I repeated male and female) is western guy really has a 'big' size. BTW: as an adult people, you know what I mean about 'big' size in here, right :D

When I answered their question with smile, ussually the follow statement from them was my smile must mean that the answer from the question is "yes" and that is the reason why I do not want to have any Indonesian boy friend. LOL

And the crazy one, that is my female friend who really curios about the western size until decide that she has to sleep with one western guy and she believe it will be like a heaven. Hahahahahahaaa.

For me, actually I did not ever thinking about big or small, come on .... you know exactly that is not about size if you do that base on love, right? Whose care about size?

Ussually after they asked me that size question, I always ask my female friends how big they think it will make them happy. Hahahahahahahaha And yes .... they can't answer my question. Because the fact even with the small size, a lot of them still can feel satisfied. So? Why they always asked me about the size? I did not think and did not want to compare anybody because I did not want somebody compare me with anybody else too. Especially I never brought a ruler with me if I were with any guys (western or eastern or everywhere). Hahahahahhaaha

So the question about "size", I think the stupid question that I am lazy to hear. Don't always think that every best sex must be because the man has a big size. Hi ... please don't compare it with something which you saw at the porn movie. Where you will see the big boobs woman and the big size man, and can do every crazy things. LOL

Try to think first about love, so it is easy for you to do (like I ever wrote before why they call it "making love" and not "making sex") because it is not how good your body are (cause no body is perfect) but it is about how to share something special with someone that you love (who you accept with all their weakness and whom you do not want to leave without).

So please .... dont think (and don't ask me again. LOL) about the size. I am not a doctor and I never measure the size of all men that I ever meet :D Trust me from my research from many of women, a lot of them admit that actually "size" is not a matter for them, as long as they feel your love and your care to them.

Have a great day all.
xoxoxo

New Year and My Resolution

2012 just begin for a few days, and so far, I still do not have any idea about what is my resolution for this year. Of course I still have my own dream and still believe all my dreams will come true in the right time (redd: the right time from God of view for me )

Yes, I know, I will not become younger but I know I will not let myself become older too. May be just my age more than before but not myself :D I do not feel old and I think I still in my great times :D

Last year I made many mistakes and I wish that I will not repeat the same mistake and the important thing that I have to be more happy from last year.

About my someone special? If God think he is the good one for me and if He think that this year is the good year for me, no one can stop Him to make us become together, right? I already ask my lovely God and I believe that He will give to me if He thinks it is the right man and the right time.

Same like job, home etc. I believe that He already has that for me, I just have to prove Him that I am worthy for it :D So I will work hard and give my best for everything I do. I will never give up.

Life is beautiful and if not too beautiful, I still have my God beside me. And with Him I know, nothing is impossible.

Happy New Year everyone, wish all your best dreams will come true and you will get only the best in this world cause you deserve to have it. And dont forget to give more loves to others around you.