Match Maker .... About Pride and Dignity

To be the only single woman at Asian family, certainly is not easy. Especially, if all your younger brothers already married and have their own children plus especially when your age is already more than 30 yo. And this is one of the example, which is hurt my pride and take away my dignity.

Last week was the biggest day for Muslim (Eid Festival), and for Muslim people in Indonesia this festival is the biggest one, where whole family are together to celebrate it. Time for us to meet our biggest family whom usually we rarely (almost never) met, time for us to say sorry to the eldest.

And for me it was actually always be the hard moment of my life. The family gathering, when all family show their family, when I am the single fighter at that gathering and when I should hear the never ending question (ok .... will end as soon as my status changing. LOL ) : when I will marry, why I am too picky, why I did not like my others siblings. If I never think to have my own family, if I do not want to have my own child, if I am not bored to be the single woman. And when people remind me again and again about my age which is not younger anymore :D

The worse ... when I had to see how pity they look at me ........ (Do I look really so sad? Uhm .... I think I was happy at that time because I could met all my nephews. Or may be the wrinkle at my face become more and more so I looks sadder than before ......... LOL )

And then come the time when my mom asked, if they knew some one who match for me and made them want to be a hero by decide to be the match maker for me.... Uh

I knew ... they have a good will. But try to find someone for me? Is it not a bit too far? Take my dignity away. Looks like that I am so ugly and no one want with me so I need them to find some one who is too stupid too, to find wife by his self. Uhm.....

Not try to be arrogant, but I think I am not too ugly, not too fat too. I think as a woman at my age, I am quite fine. Do you think so? :D

But if until now, no one whom I love, proposed me to be their wife, what should I do? Should I take just everybody just because I want to end this "single" status? I am not picky. I am not workaholic, who just think about my job. I am not feminist members who thinks that she did not need any man at her life. I am not trauma with all my broken heart things which make me close all my heart to every man. I am not "high and mighty".
No ... I am not. I just want to spent my life with the one that I love and loved me. And hi ...... I am trying to find it too !!!!!!

And if because of that I am still single, should they feel pity on me? Should they look at me like I am the burden for my mom? Should I be the bad daughter? And should they try to find someone and "beg" him to marry me? Uhm ...

Yup .... this month there is one more number at my age. But still ..... I believe that one day, I will end my "single" status, with the one whom loved me and I love and happily ever after, without any kind of match maker things :P

Wish me luck, will you? :D