'cause your neigbor grass always greener than urs

As a woman, I am or others woman using my heart more than my logic. And sometimes you can't handle your heart to think clearly about something. So you always think that someone life greater than yours ...

The example, many of my female friends, said that they are envy to see my life now. Free, can do what I want to do. I can go where ever I want to go. I have enough time to chat with my friends. Have many "me times". I have a lot of times to pamper myself at the salon, at the spa. I can just think only about me and me. Hahahhhahhahahaha

Yes, of course they are right. I can do what ever I want to do. I am free. I can go where ever I want to go. I have more than enough "me times", have a lot of times to pamper myself. But unfortunately I can't think only about me. But still, I have enough time just for myself more than them .

Uhm... actually I am envy with them too. I think their life a lot better than mine. They have someone who is not their parents or their siblings but always there for them, no matter how bad they are. They have gorgeous children who always love them no matter what happen with them.

They have their own "home", place where they will always want to return, place where they can reducing their burden and get a big hug when ever they feel tired. Place where they can stay if they feel so exhausted :-D

Alone is the part of my life. Every time I am back home, I just see the empty room, just see the cold wall. No smile, no big hug, no sweet smile gorgeous little children who said that they love their mommy :-( And it could not be compare with 5 hours at spa or salon, even could not compare with 10 hours talk with your friend (because at this age, where almost 90% of your friends have no time to chat with you because of their families)

I even miss that moment when someone angry with me and say that he needs me more than my work needs me hahahhahahhaaha (remind me that some one said to me ... that he thought that I must be not have a boy friend because if I had, my boy fiend might be already giving a big punch to my boss because of the load of work that he gave to me hahahhhahhahaham, so stupid conclusion hahahahahahhaaha, how if my boy friend does not care about all my work ? hahahhahhhahaha).

I think more older you are, the desire to have your own family is increasing day by day. The hunger to have someone that you love to be by your side now and forever, become bigger and bigger. And the eagerness to have "home" for your heart is higher and higher.

So .... do they still envy me if they knew all this? :P