Clown and strong woman.

As an experiences woman like all people told me (dunno in a good way or in a bad way :D ), I think I am belong the strong woman club ... hahahhhahahaha
At least many people around me said that. I am the strong woman. Laugh, entertain people, be a clown for every body is kind the part of my life for people around me.

People around me always hope that I made a joke and entertain them in their worse and good situation. And it is kind of "must " to be a clown for them.

So one day, I could not handle myself and I felt so sad, and I show it to person that I thought that will understand me, And it was amazing me, when they were angry and could not accept my sadness and said that I am actually fragile. They looked so disappointed because of that :-( and did not even want to give their shoulder for a few minutes for myself to rely on a bit instead of anger and disappoint. And said that they found many of sadness in their life so they do not want to see the sadness anymore especially in me.
Then as their statement and their eyes showed me how big their disappointment ....... that was broke my heart more.

But than I think , as clown mean that you could not have a heart?
As a clown, you could not be sad because sad mean that you are fragile?

As a strong woman I could not be a sad a little bit because mean that I am fragile?
Could I not have a bit love and care? Just a bit? not much just a bit, for a while ......

And as a strong woman should I always be a clown ?