It is nothing compare that know you are safe

Today ... after I felt worry about my friend .... he send me a letter.

Said that he is all right and he found someone, he respect her, that is the reason why he never talked to me anymore.

Do you know .... I feel really really happy to get that email, never happy got any email like this before.

Just because it means that everything is all right with him. So it means that I can sleep well and can release my burden because of worry about him.

But the other things, I feel so shame too, because in his mail, it looks like that I wrote that kind email just because I want him to be my boy friend. Uhm ....

He said he did not want with me because he read what I wrote in here, in my blog and he thought that I do not love myself. So he do not want with woman who do not love herself. And then I thought ... uhm.... instead of suddenly gone away and found other, if he like me why do not asked me first, or be a gentle man and asked me or told me. hahahaahhaha. But anyway, is ok. I could not force everybody to like me, right? Or to fall in love with me. But ... Did I ever force him to be my boy friend or something? Did I ever ask him to do that? Uh

Actually, when I wrote that email to him .... just pure because I could not sleep well, eat well cause of dream so bad about him and worry about him. Just that.

For me what ever happen with me with people who ever closed with me they are still my friend and not my enemy. May be I need a few months to forgive and to forget. But they are still my friends. And as my friends, of course from the bottom of my heart, I want them be all right everyday. And as my friends if I got a bad dreams about them, of course I would try hard to find them and make sure that everything is all right with them. All because I care. All because they ever be made a different color at my heart. And without them I never be like this now.

So now I thought ... should I regret my email to him, especially I feel so shame because he thoughts that I am so desperate woman who send him email just to get his attraction. But then I thought again ... is ok if he thought so worse about me, because I could not choose my dream, and especially in my tradition, worse dream about some one means that a warning from nature through you to remind the person to take care more about them self. So may be God warned him through me, and if because of my warning, he could be safety, so why not? I take all the risk to send any mail :D

And what he thought about me, just make me feel shame, right? It is nothing if compare that he could be safe because my warning, right?

Again thanks God .... I am grateful that he is ok and please God, always take a good care of him.