Girl - woman - girl

Do you know the funny about the creature name girl - woman?

They have many habit that unlogical, yes unlogical because it is hard to accept by the normal logical thinking :D

First when we were at our youngest time from 17 until more and less 24 years old, we always wanted to be looks older than our age. If people asked our age, we will add it one or two years more :D We acted like old woman not like a girl. We were so angry when people said that we were looks like children. We just wanted people looks us like wise woman and not like just a girl ....hahahhahhahaa

We used clothes that actually not for our age, we did not want answer any young boy greetings hahahahaha. How did we talk, how was our body languange sometimes wanted to show whole the world that we were not a girl !!!!!!!!
We were jealous to see all women in this world and really hope we get that title soon "w o m a n" and not girl anymore.

And than after we begin our 30 years and more ? All become opposite from before.
We are trying soooooooooooo hard to look young. We are laughing like the teenagers girls . We are trying to use clothes which show the whole world how young we are.

We are trying hard not to talk about our age (at least if we must answer the question, we are trying to reduce it ....hahahhahahahhaha)

We are trying to look not too wise ..... (cause wise somehow equal with old) ...hahhahhhaa
We are jealous to see all the young women in this world and trying to imagine if we were at their age. We hate if people call us with "madam"

Uh .........

And how about me?
Yup I am a woman and yup I get half (or more) of the kind of bad habits :-D
But at least I still brave enough to tell everybody about my age .... LOL

My new home sweet home

Since the beginning of this month, I am in formally moving to my new home sweet home.
Yup, me and alone (of course some times my mom will come to my place) but can you imagine after long long long time ..... I can stay at one house and do anything what I want there, without tolerate with any body ^_^

Hi .... I do not mean that I am egoist or things that I do not need someone share with me. But you know, until this age, I never feel something like this. Bad, right?
At least even just a few days, or few months ..... I promise myself it will be enough for me. Yup I will keep my promise.

But sometimes, if I back home, I feel really lonely even I feel happy in another side .. .. Uh.
Can you imagine?
Really do not gratefull, right?

This week, it will be loooooooooong weekend ever. I still imagine, what will I do then. Should I stay alone by my self or should I go to my siblings place........

But I decide to enjoy every single minutes of my single life at the new place ^_^
Because may be tommorow, some one ask me to marry them and I accept it, so ..... may be I will not be alone again at one place name "home"

Who's know?

really badly want to hear that 3 words (how are you)

Do you know, that 3 words "how are you" is the words that I always asked to everybody before I begin to talk with them.

But that 3 words are the words which really asked by people to me hahhahahhhaahaha

Yes, only me (around 90%) who always asking my friends (actually all people that I knew) "how are you" first especially if I did not hear their news long time, not just lips service but I really want to know how are them, it is really from the bottom of my heart. If you asked me why, it is because I care about them.
(Or may be because I have too much times actually or may be because I am like kind of old people who are sooooooooo lonely so need some one to talk with hahhhahhahhaha)

But last week, when I was sooooo tired and got worse flue ....... for the first time I realize that, actually rarely people asked me "how are you" first . Almost never. And I missed that worlds said by someone to me, same like what I did to them. Really really badly wanted to hear that 3 words. But still ......... (even until now, no one did )

So since last Monday, I did not ask any body first. I badly wanted that some one ask me first!!!!!!!!!!! hahahhahhaaha
Can you imagine?

I feel afraid with that syndrome ...... do you think it is kind of syndrome which is always happen to women above thirty and single? I really feel afraid that I will became lonely single old woman, who feell loney and bother with every body to care about her?
Oh my God .............
make me feel afraid now hahahhahhaaha

But even feel afraid with that syndrome, I still could not reject my will to hear someone who ask me (from the bottom of his/her heart) first by "how are you"

Uhmmmmmmmmm

Slim wanna be

Same as others women in this world, I want to look slim too. Because in our mind set, slim means beauty and beauty means slim.
Silly, right? Hahahhahahahhahaa

And same as others women over thirthy in this world, I have a problem to loose my weight at my age. PS: Actually, it is easier to me to be slim if I am in stress condition. Last year around Jan - April, at the height 155 cm, my weight was just 40 kg!!!!!!!!! But after that? Uh ......
(and I do not want to get stress just because want to be slimm)

I think eventhough I just drink water everyday, that water would be a fat at my body .....hahhahahaahaha. I am sure 100 % about this.

My siblings (red: my brothers), my friends who are men always said, that nothings wrong with my body, not slim but not fat at all. Uhm.....

But again, because of my single status (or because I am the long lasting single hahahhahaa), I think no one want ask me to go out with them because I am not as slim as others women.
(yes ... I knew, it is sooooooooo silly, but still I could not wash my brain yet for my way of thinking )

And like others women who want to be slim...... I was doing many kind of ritual for being slim, from just eat 1 times a day until forbid my self to eat all the sweet things .....

But it worked for 1 or 2 days ....... and then just create many reasons to allow me to eat all the sweet things again without feel quilty at all ............ LOL

The bad things about the slim wanna be sickness, same like others women in this world, I feel lazy to go to gym and do exercise there :-) I just want to be a slim without must do a lot of work and without have to take a lot of time too :-)
(yes .... I knew .... it is silly too)

Beside it same like others women in this world, I am so envy with women who can eat anything but still slim, or even envy with women who are going pregnant but still slim. How can be like this!!!!!!!!!!!

SO ...... please please and please if you have a good slim recipe, please tell me as soon as possible

Or at least please carry me to the brain wash station to wash my brain so I can clear my brain from all the slim wanna be thinking ..... LOL

Haven't met you yet

Saturday night mean my lonely time ussually.
Time where I have to face the truth that I am alone :-(

Not mean that I do not have friends outside or my siblings and their family will let me alone. Yes I have a lot of friends, yes, I think I could call them and will have my fun time with them and of course 100 % yes, that my siblings and their family will love to join with me and spent their time with me as the part of their live .

But escape from my loneliness by brought a ton of works from my office sometimes was not effiecient and effective to kill this lonely felling. Especially when you thought that your dateline almost come and after you read the document again and again you knew that dateline still 2 weeks again ......... Oh no !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For what you were working hard at Saturday night, then?

So I stop worked, closed all the documents and was starting to open Youtube and searching all the nice music to join me when I was filling what ever quiz that available at Facebook :-)

Do you know one of my favorite at FB is the quiz things.

Than ..... I found this songs by Michael Buble (first time I saw his face, I thought that he could not sing at all, just sold his handsome face ..... hahhhahahhahhaa (sorry Michael) but I was so wrong (the lesson :don't judge book from it's cover :-)) ... he is handsome and can sing as well as his face, and than now I am the one of his fans)

The title is : " Haven't met you yet"

this is the part of the lyric:

I might have to wait

I'll never give up

I gues it's half timing

and the other half's luck

wherever you are, whenever it's right

you come out of nowhere and into my life

........

I just haven't met you yet

So I think about what happend to me

Yes, I've broken my heart so many times

until actually I feel afraid to fall in love anymore.

I was so afraid that I can't stand this time if I have to break my heart.

Build the high and strong wall to protect my heart, so no one can come in.

And said to everybody, I am alone because no one want to be with me.

But how can I find the love of my life if I do not want to open my heart?

So the first thing that I must do .... I have to open my mind, open my heart.

See all the possibilty and should not give up.

And if one day, I break my heart again ....

it is just simple reason .......

that is only because I haven't met my soulmate yet.

That I still need time to find him.

Beside that life is still beautiful even you are over thirty and single, right?

Jia you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fighting !!!!!!!!!!!

Between hormone and being a servant

Today I saw something that I think I should not see again ^_^ At least I should not see this would happen in Jakarta the capital of Indonesia, one of modern city where are modern, faboulous, educated women staying, and especially at my office where is gender equity, is something which is common.

And do you want to know what I saw actually?

One of woman, around thirty with her consciousness, really wanted to be a servant for a man, eventhough that man, is not her husband at all, just because wanted to feel close with him. Can you imagine? Uhmmmmm.......

How can you let yourself to be a servant just for a health man (red: again health man!!!!!!!!!!) at the office and in front of a few people. How can you want to be a stupid like that to let your dignity gone away just for a man who (maybe) will forget you if he wake up tomorrow.

So ... suddenly I remembered about women, single around thirthy which is her hormone ringing the bell at her self and the sound looks like a whisper ... "must marry someone as soon as possible, must marry someone as soon as possible, must marry someone as soon as possible, must marry someone as soon as possible....... " again and again . LOL

Now, can you see the link between being a servant and hormone? Hahahhahahaha

But still even though, from the deep of my heart, I can understand her reason ....... hard for me to see her "sold her soul" like that. Hard for me to see her to be a servant like that :-(

Or actually ... it is normal for a single woman above thirty like me ? Oh no........ !!!!!!!!!!!!

Drama Queen to be

As a woman above 30, I think I already pass the "drama queen" periode ^_^

The periode when you think to make every small problem be a big problem. The periode where you think that being a drama queen is one of the best solution to solve your problem, to make all people around you( especially people who love you) will give whatever you want or the worse thing to get all sympatie that you need to release your ego.

Of course, even though I've ever been a drama queen before (hi ..... I was one of the best drama queen in this world I think ... LOL) and knew why many young women under my age do this, but still .... to see this drama queen to be by one of people near me ....... will ruin my nerves.
And need loooooooooong time to get my self to be passion and need ton of my positive energy to get my understanding for her situation ^_^

And the worse things from this drama queen ....... when your position at that time as a bad guy who is soooooooooooooooo bad and wants to kill this drama queen by his sword.........
So all people who became so touchy cause of the story of this drama queen will try to save her from you the queen of devil. hahahhahahhahaa

Uhm.......
and the end of this story?
Suddenly I feel sorry to all people who ever been a devil at the time I was being a drama queen.
And realize what the trouble I made to them at that time.
Really sorry guys ^_^