Party, Alcohol and Lust

At my age now, I rarely want to go to the any kind of party. It is often if I did not accept any party, even though the owner party was my close friend. Not mean I do not want to be kind of strike woman who can not enjoy the life or woman who can not make any sosialization with all people. Of course one or two times ... I am enjoy to do this .... especially if too tired and need something which make you can scream loud, dancing until you die .... and of course ... laughing on all the drank people there ....
Uhm ... the funny things on me ... I never attend any kind of party with some one who I love and loved me. Or actually it was the good things? So no one will make me jealous or no one will do any kind of jealous thing to me .... hahahhhaaa
Dunno ....

Yesterday I attend, one party because of I had to attend it. That was kind of solidarity party, so after did loooooooong workshop with people from South Asia country, it is kind of farewell party for each others.

So ... like kind of any party ... there should be music, alcohol, dancing ....
Dance till you drop ........LOL
Drink alcohol till you drank ..... hahahaahahahahaha .... nope just joke never work for me (one of the biggest mercy, He gave to me :D)

I thought the most part of the party which I like is the dancing time. It was sooooooo nice, because it was so long since I did the last time.

The live music were good, the songs were nice and the athmosphere there were so good ... until one of the guy there asked me to dance with him.

Actually ... it was not wrong I think to dance with any body since the songs is kind of the rock music. I mean, it was no dance music so ... the chance of him to touch my body is almost nothing.

But actually I was wrong ... he was so drunk and I did not realize when he asked me .... and in the middle of the song he hold me so thight and began to touch my body ....... ARRGHHHHH....

So angry .. until I did push him and made him almost fallen down there .... but ... I could not help my self. Sorry .

After that one of my friend who is woman, told me the same thing, one of man there ... grap her butt when she was dancing in front of him. Can you imagine? (that place are a bit small, so if you dance around, sometimes, you have to dance in front of people who just sit down).

And the other one woman almost got same story but her boy friend, suddenly protect him, when he saw that kind of bad habit would begin from the man near her.

Then .... I am trying to think now ....
is it always like that? Party with alcohol and then with the lust no matter how old people who attend the party?

Is it not about the age. There is no age limitation ....... do not care how old are you, Party and alcohol still got that kind of affect. And the lust ... still the lust. Uhm......

Or may be I have to think that my next time party should be with some one who love me and want to protect me from that kind of sexual abuse ..... :-D So I still can enjoy my party till end. But the problem is ... uhm.... yes .... I am above thirty and still single ......
Does any body want to be my partner ? LOL

Hidden Smile

In this age, may be many people will think about that I must be already can control my emotion in my every step of what I did, and every problem that I get.

I did not say that I deny it. No... I feel it how different I am from the young age. I feel too how different I see every problem now. And I feel to how different I will be react to every bad situation. All I can say to be in the better way.
Yup ... I am more calm, patience than before. And yup ... that is the best that I feel to be woman in my age :-)

I can control all the emotion.
Of course as a human, one or two times, I loose my control.

Yup I can say to you in my proud way, that since my young age, I almost never cry in front of anybody. I am trying not to do it. Even sometimes I have to find any rest room because of this.

Uhm .... but lately, I found something that I can't control, no matter how old I am. Something that you are trying to hide but still everybody can see through your eyes, can see how bright your face. All the words looks like happily song even sad song will sound like heaven. And people who knew you well will ask you to share your happiness . LOL

And you are trying hard not to say, but still you can't control your smile, which is always come every time you remember. And you are trying to work hard, so you will not have time to day dreaming, but still there is always one or two moments who bring you to do daydreaming :D

And you will look like a teenager, your check will be blush every time you remember it. And you feel that you can do anything impossible because of that feeling . And than you have 100 power than before when sleep is not just sleep and eat is not just eat :P

And ...
I just want to know ... when I am at 40 or 50, 60 can I control this kind of feeling?