About Studying

Last week I just attended one kind of workshop about "how to get scholarship", actually I went there because I wanted to meet my old friend who was the key speaker at the workshop.

As many people from my old university, they want to go to study for next degree, usually go abroad for their master or PhD (hi ... not physically head damage ... LOL) .

And that is the reason why many of my friends wonder why I do not look interesting to study for my next degree, I even do not look to try to get any kind of scholarship.

The reason is, not because I am lazy to learn. BIG NO.

Of course I love to learn. And I think so far I can learn from everybody, from everyplace, every situation. But yes, not in a formal school.

I just do not get yet any reason, why should I study again at university? Just for my career? For living abroad? For show off? For what?

May be next time, when I feel and I have any idea why I should study again. I will try to do that, even though at that time I should pay it by myself because I could not get any scholarship anymore cause of my age :-)

For me what I get now, what I learn lately , I never get from any text books or any best universities in this world.

Actually I do not care for any titles which is you put after your name. It is not make me wonder or proud about you, but how you treat others people, it is more important.

If you treat others so bad, you will be at the same grade like street people at my eyes, even though you already pass as Prof at the best university in this world.

I ever met one man, who know almost about everything, he read almost whole book from science until fiction, from novel until the big text book. You can ask or discussion about everything with him.

But his school was just until senior high school. He is rich and powerful man at his neighborhood. And he is famous because he wants to help everybody and so humble. His children say, he is the best father in this world and I am absolutely agree about it. If you are near him, you feel comfortable. He will not laugh at you because of your stupid question and even though he is full of knowledge, he always says that his knowledge not enough. He is thirsty to read and read and read. LOL

Hi ... I do not mean to say that I am not agree about studying. Not at all. I am still proud and happy if I heard that one of my friend get any scholarship to get their next degree. And I will pray the best for them to get it too.

I just want to make sure, that if you are studying again, you have the strong reason why you take that way. Not just follow someone or follow the mode, but have to make sure that you want it because you need it for your life. And you will share what you get to people around you.

Have a great day then :D

One of my lovely day

This Wednesday, I met a few of my old friends. My friends from my senior high school and my friend from my college in one day!!!!

So after office hours, I met my friends from my senior high school first. Of course like others women in our age, the first things that we were trying to forget is our age hahahhahahaa. Hi... at least we are still young at our soul and our heart. And it is important to make us look younger than our actually age . LOL

Talked about our memories, our crazy days, our sad times, our good times. Of course without any regrets about our past and with a lot of support and love about our dreams and future. The discussion of course include my resolution this year. Get marry ..... hahhahhahhaaha.

And like any people who I met and I told about my resolution, my friends looked wonder when I said that actually I do not know with who, when, how ... all etc (end of think capability .... LOL)
But of course a bit different with others, she believe that I can get what I dream with a lot of pray (hi ... it will be one of her list prayer (amen) .. PS thanks Me ..... mmmuaaaaaaaaaaaah)

You knew, met my old friends like that, with never ending laughing (even when we talked about our sad times .... I mean even the sad stories become not worse at all), made me feel so light :D

After that I met my senior when I was at my college. I knew him since 1996. He is kind of my brother, of course with all his hidden story which I do not know until now and my hidden story which he do not know too until now hahahhahhahahaa.

With him, I could tell all that happen to me without feel shame at all. But of course we are always limited it with any kind of love stories (hi .... it is not part of our friendship I think, his love story and mine never be of the conversation between us and it is kind of taboo to talk about hahahhhahahaa). And as usual, my stories always be main conversation hahahhahahaa.
I am not egoist, but he always said that he do not have any kind of story like me, which can be joke material between us :D (do you think, that statement actually praise or kind of disgraceful thinking from him ? hahahhhahhhhahaa ..... dunno, I just knew that he never did something bad to me)

And same like when I met my old friend before, I forgot my age, because in front of him, I always be kind of small girl and not yet a woman, who always do naughty things and sometimes brave without brain, no matter how hard I am trying to look more mature for him. Actually from the deep of my heart, I like this kind of time .... back to be a girl Hahahhhahahhhaha

In front of him, I could leave for a few moment something name "responsibility", something name "image", something name "ages". I can show freely about my weakness without feel scare that he will leave me. I can show freely about my stupid things without feel scare that he will think that I am kind of idiot. Kind of big brother that I never have. Do you have this kind of brother or sister?

And all this lovely day, of course make my heart brighter.
Again .... I should thanks God for surrounding by all the lovely and amazing people :-)
Hope you will get the same lovely day like mine :D

My Resolution 2011

Last 3 years, I am always trying to make my new resolution every end of the year. So as usual the end of 2010, I was trying to make the resolution for 2011. And the funny things, for the first time, my resolutions are not just a small things like wants to be more calm, or reduce my anger.

But this year I made the big resolutions:

1. I want to get marry. Have my own family. And this is a bit crazy resolution. Actually, I got the idea to think about this after one of my best friend said that he wants to get marry without pass to long to be a lover. He was opening my mind to think about marry seriously. Usually I just thought about marry but just a slightest idea. Want it but do not think about have my own family. And just talked to every body that no one proposed me yet and actually really do not pray my God that I want to have my own family. And my friend made me begin to pray to my God, so He will bless me and send someone to me. Until I am writing down this, I still do not know with whom. Hhahhahhaahaha I know, you must think that I am crazy. But I believe my God. He will give me if I am sure with what I want (amen). At least I have one dream man who is always at my dream every night. It is a good step, isn't it? LOL

2. To write down book and publish it. Do you know, I always want to be a writer since I was young. There are many a short story which I wrote down. And through away whole my imagination hahahhahaaa. Do you know the best things to write a story, you can decide what will happen with the actor, you can control that under your feeling hahahhahaaa. Feel like semi GOd, semi Devil. Hahahhaahhahha. Even please be careful with what you wrote down, because sometime it will happen to you. A few stories that I made, happen to me ........hahahhhahha. So this time, I will write the happy ending story, so may be my life will be happily ever after.

3. To write down book about climate. So people will know about climate, without have to think much hahahhhahaaha. I hope after that, they will a bit care about how their life style. May be I can help my world a bit. Kind of hero wanna be. Hahhahhahahhaa

4. Back pack again. Yippie !!!!!!!!! But still do not know yet where. I just think about to go to Bhutan, Tibet, Mongol. The price is soooooooooooo expensive. But there is still a way if you believe your dream come true, right? At least I am already do the first step, to dare for dreaming. LOL

5. Increase my spirituality. So I will be more patient.

I know, may be you think, it is too much but why not because of my faith, I believe all will come true. Amen.

So how about your resolution? Don't feel afraid to dream and share with me :P

When you loose your best friend

Today, one of my best friend, delete me from his friend list at Facebook. Do you know, it is kind of shock for me, cause I think I never try to hurt him. Never try to bother him (and he is my friend and become my best friend lately) for almost 17 years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When I am writing down this, I felt so hurt at my heart. It is hurting me more than if I felt broken heart. And it is so pain. Can you imagine?

As an old friend, of course I care about him. Really care about him. I am lying if I said no. And I am lying too, if I say that he do not mean much for me. He mean a lot at my life. But as a best friend too, I never want to force him if he did not want to talk with me too. But I always let him know, that I always be there for him whenever he needs someone to talk with, or someone to count on or someone to support him at the worse times.

And for the first time, I do not know what's my fault, and he doesn't want to talk with me. I really do not know. Really wish that he talk to me or angry with me if I am doing something wrong to him. I even let him hit me if it make him sacrifice. It's ok for me. Really ok. As long as he is still want to be my old friend.

17 years it is not short times. And if this long times means nothing for him .... uhm. In my life, that is the first time I loose my old friend. And it is hurt me so.

I wish one day, he will tell me what is wrong. He will forgive me if I was doing something wrong that I did not realize but was hurt him so much. He will talk with me like our old time and sharing good times and bad times like we always did.

If you read this, you know that whatever happen between us, we still have something name "friendship" and it was ever been beautiful. So please, always be my friend.