One of my heart day

Yesterday was the hard day for me. Two of my friends died. One is my teacher and will be my NLP teacher. He always send kind of motivation words through face book. When I learn hypnotherapy class with his group, in the class of self forgiveness (where at that time every one should be the therapist and be a patients alternately) and at my time as a patients, he was together being my therapist with my friend.

I still remember what he said at my ear, "you are good as you are, you are a great creature from God, so please forgive yourself and find peaceful at your heart". The last time, at the face book he put the motivation "Dare to dream and believe it will come true".

Last 2 weeks I met his brother and told him about my willing to learn NLP - motivation class because I want to be a motivator facilitator since there is rarely motivator woman in this world. So I asked his brother to tell him and inform me if he will open class again (and of course I made a joke about discount rate for me hahahhhahaa). And his brother said, he knew that his brother will open one class on May, but do not know yet when exactly.

He is nice person and really calm, always shares his knowledge, always motivated everybody. So the news about motorcycle accident yesterday morning which brought him to the coma situation for hours, made me shocked. He died yesterday afternoon.

The second one is one of my friend from my nature club at my university. He is my senior actually. He was sick for long time. Actually I do not so close with him, but still, he is my friend. Especially, he is the very best friend of one people who ever be so closed with me when I was at my university. He is so funny. And gave a few of people there a nick name which are still we used until now in our group.

Yesterday afternoon, I got a text : ask me to go to the hospital where he was treated. Said that may be this is the last day of him, the Doctor already gave up. And a few hours after this text, I got a new news said that he already died.

Seriously, 2 obituaries news in one day ... made me feel so down. But I know, God must be love them more, so He asked them to stay at His side so soon.

If people asked me if I am ready if suddenly died. I tell you honestly .... I am ready.

I just did not ready if I hear all people who I love so much ... died. I did not ready for that. It broke my heart. I can't imagine my world with them all. Even though I rarely talk with them or meet them or one or two of them hate me so much and do not want to meet me at all, but still to imagine my world without them .... broke my heart.

Yesterday night I think about how if they died without know that I care about them, without know that I love them and they are the important person in my life ? How if too late? Should I begin to tell them about that? Will they want to forgive me if I ever hurt them without realize it? Will they want to hear it without curious about my good will? Will them not be more hate me? Will they want to keep a promise to take a good care of their self? If not for me at least for their family. Will they want to hear that there is one woman in the middle of nowhere who will be crying a river if something bad happen with them?

If you were them, would you accept my care and love without any curious? Will you forgive me? Will you give me your promise to take a good care of yourself where ever you go and what ever you do?